****
Betrayal is my enemy
Your anger knows no bounds.
Over and over in my head
I tried to make sense of what
Was not within reason.
What horrible act could have
Caused you to behave
With such cunning cruelty
Such sly subtlety
Celebrating each wound
Delivered?
The conclusion came to me
Washed over me like a
Pounding wave, drenching me
With bitterness and despair
There was no reason for
The punishment you delivered,
An endless supply of malice
Because an obsession
Is never rational
Does not include love, no
Especially when weaknesses
Are exploited and private
Moments exposed without
Permission.
I sit alone and ponder
How I will ever forgive
Your inhumanity, and
Most of all, I am angered
That my value of forgiveness
Divine, turn the other cheek -
You robbed me of this
Along with my innocence and
Trust and faith, even hope.
Weary, I get just a little lift
I say, someone like this
Will not rob me of my soul
For I will struggle to accept,
Determined to forgive,
Knowing that you deserve my pity
As you cannot be happy,
No, these are the actions
Of someone who wrestles
With The Darkness,
A battle right now she cannot
Win.
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After a good few days, adding up to some weeks, I'm back once again.

It's all the fault of my pc.

I'm so, so, so, so sorry.

Have alot of catching up to do..... No Trackbacks

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So, Monday night was a Big night, religiously speaking; and I sent off my messages of wellness and blessing and all those things.
But, I sent it to an entire group in my phonebook called ...

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Though I have lost much when my Computer's harddrive decided to crash, I have managed to recover my diary file.

For some inexplicable reason, I copied the file to my smartphone.

I don't know what made me do it but, I did and I'm greatful for that.

I have visited Mubeen and Naeem this weekend.

Zoe is still on my mind but, I've got no time for all that.

I've got priorities; you know, I need to go on with my life.

Oh, and Saabrie is getting married in December, this year.

I'm really delighted for him.

He is really a nice creature and deserves someone really special.

Oops, and that Batty-boy thing, Junaid Bux is also getting married but, he is getting married this coming weekend.

Anyway, I'm tired; very tired and need to go to LalaLand.

See yah. No Trackbacks

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I am sure that millions of people have asked themselves at some point in time, what de heck they were going after or something to that effect.

Since the last time I wrote, I have moved from Cape Town to PieterMaritzburg;
I've started to work at the Maddressa Noor for the Blind and I've lost all my information on my HP pc.

The HardDrive just decided that it was tired of keeping my info so, last week, on monday, it kindly released my data into the void in time and space where all such data go to.

But, at the least; I'm still living; I have lost alot in the past 12 months but, then again, I was born without anything.

So, it doesn't really matter to me.

Anyway, this was just a note to let myself know that I'm still alive and kicking.

Islah completed his learning at the maddressa and left at the beginning of July.

He is now at home.

I chatted to him a little earlier on.

And my HP also came back yesterday.

I had to install everything all over again.

Obviously I'm not finished yet but, I'm typing this out on the very same one.

Anyway, take care and do whatever it is that you wish to do. No Trackbacks

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It's unbelievably shocking how time just seem to go on and on and on and; ok, you've got the message....

It doesn't even get tired of just going on: Is that perhaps a hint for os on how to handle difficult times?

If I think back on one year ago; what my aspirations were, who the people were that played an important roll in my life and how they have managed to shape my future for me; because I trusted them.

Never bind yourself to a person until you.... ah well, I don't want to write a thesis but, for heaven sake; don't show you care until you're absolutely sure that that person also cares.
This is because people's hearts are so hardened that sometimes it just doesn't exist no more. No Trackbacks

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