Family New Muslims

60 Ways to Keep Your Wife’s Love Guaranteed

What is the ultimate goal of marriage? How should a husband keep his wife’s love guaranteed? How should a husband make his wife feel secure?

Watch this Show to know the answer to these questions.


Family New Muslims

Four Wives: Why?

Why is it in Islam that a man can have four wives and a woman can only have one husband? Watch this episode of the Mailbag with Sheikh Yusuf Estes to know the answer.


Source: Taken with kind permission from


Family New Muslims

Raising Children

Why have the Muslim youth drifted off? Why have they been engaged in drugs? Are Muslim parents raising their children according to the teachings of Islam? How should you keep your children away from bad behavior and deeds?

Watch this Show to know the answer and much more.

Source: Taken with kind permission from


Family New Muslims

Wife Beating

Are women inferior to men? How can understand verse 34 of Surat an-Nisaa’? What about wife beating? How did the Prophet deal with his wives? Did the Prophet ever beat them? Watch Yusuf Estes answering these questions and more.


Family New Muslims

Rights of the Husband

Do Muslim husbands have rights on their wives? What are these rights? Watch this episode of Visitor At Home in which Dr. Muhammad Salah explains the rights of husbands in Islam.


Family New Muslims

Parents: Treatment & Rights

In this video, Sheikh Yusuf Estes explains how a Muslim should treat his parents.


Family New Muslims

Know Who‘re the Mothers in Islam

By Ansar Al-‘Adl

Islam raises parents to a status greater than that found in any other religion or ideology.

Islam raises parents to a status greater than that found in any other religion or ideology.

This is one of the most convincing things about Islam; the treatment of women in general and especially the high position mothers hold in Islam. Amongst the clearest examples of Islam’s honoring women is the great status of the mother in Islam. Islam commands kindness, respect and obedience to parents and specifically emphasizes and gives preference to the mother as shall be shown in this article. Islam raises parents to a status greater than that found in any other religion or ideology. The command to be good to one’s parents begins right from the Qur’an. Allah says:

Worship Allah and join not any partners with Him; and be kind to your parents… (An-Nisaa’ 4:36)

The mention of servitude to parents follows immediately after servitude to God. This is repeated throughout the Qur’an.

Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood. (Al-Israa’ 17:23-24)

The great scholar, Abu Al-Faraj Ibn Al-Jawzi (a great scholar of Hadith in the sixth century died in 597/1200) explained: ‘To be kind to one’s parents is: to obey them when they order you to do something, unless it is something which Allah has forbidden; to give priority to their orders over voluntary acts of worship; to abstain from that which they forbid you to do; to provide for them; to serve them; to approach them with gentle humility and mercy; not to raise your voice in front of them; nor to fix your glance on them; nor to call them by their names; and to be patient with them. (Ibn al-Jawzi, Bir al-Walidayn, or kindness of Parents) The Qur’an emphasizes the great struggles the mother goes through for her child, to highlight the need for one to reciprocate their parents sacrifice for them:

And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and his weaning was over two years. Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination. (Luqman 31:14)

The renowned exegete, Sheikh `Abdur-Rahman As-Sa`di (d. 1956), says about this verse: “And to your parents” meaning, be kind to your parents, shower on them love, affection and piety, both in words and deeds, treat them with tender humility, provide for them and never harm them verbally nor physically. (…) Then, Allah mentions the reason why we should be kind to our parents, when He says {His mother bore him in travail upon travail}, that is, the mother bore constant suffering; in pain and hardship from the first moment she felt the child moving in her womb to the worst pangs during the time of delivery. And “his weaning is for two years”, that is, during these two years the mother breast-feeds her child and looks after him/her. So after all the years of suffering, hardship, love and care, could we not, at least, compensate our mothers for what they have done for us and pay them back their rights? (Tayseer al-Kareem ar-Rahman fi Tafseer al-Kalam al-Manan) The Qur’an repeats its mention of the struggles of the mother in yet another passage:

And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning (period) is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, “My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims. (Al-Ahqaf 46:15)

In connection to this passage, the late Grand Mufti of Pakistan, Sheikh Muhammad Shafy (died in 1976) wrote:

Mother has more rights than father.

Although the first part of this verse is a command to do good to both the parents, the second sentence refers only to the hardships suffered by the mother, because they are unavoidable, and no child can be born without them. Every mother has to go through the problems of pregnancy and severe pains of delivery. As against this, it is not necessary for a father that he suffers any hardship in bringing up and educating the child, if he can afford to pay somebody else for these services. This is why the noble Prophet (peace be upon him) has given more rights to the mother than anybody else. According to a hadith he has said:

“Do good to and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then the near relatives and then those who come after them.” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

Thus, “And his carrying and his weaning is in thirty months” (Al-Ahqaf 46:15) also describes the hardships suffered by the mother for her baby. It points out that even after suffering hardships during pregnancy and the severe labor pains, the mother does not get respite from toils, because the natural food of the infants is in her breasts, and she has to suckle them.

The Prophet Muhammad continually used to remind his followers of the status of the mother and the obligation of being good to one’s parents. The following narration is a beautiful example of the noble position of the mother:

“A man came to the Prophet Muhammad and said: “O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me?” He replied: “Your mother.” The man asked: “Then who?” So he (peace and blessings be upon him) replied: “Your mother.” The man then asked: “Then who?” So the Prophet replied again: “Your mother.” The man then asked: “Then who?” So he replied: “Then your father.” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)

Commenting on this hadith, Sheikh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi notes:

This hadith confirms that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave precedence to kind treatment of one’s mother over kind treatment of one’s father (Al-Hashimi, The Ideal Muslimah)

Likewise, the late Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Sheikh Abdul-Aziz Ibn Baz (died in 1999) comments on this hadith saying:

So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the like of kindness and good treatment than the father. He also writes:

The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her and the difficulties that she has to shoulder – responsibilities and difficulties some of which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given precedence over and above the father.(…) And I have no doubt that my mother – may Allah shower His mercy upon her – had a tremendous effect upon me, in encouraging me to study; and she assisted me in it. May Allah greatly increase her reward and reward her with the best of rewards for what she did for me.

The Prophet also said in a famous narration:

“Paradise lies at the feet of your mother”. (Ahmad, An-Nasa’i, and Ibn Majah)

What can be greater evidence of honoring women than this? Islam has effectively placed the ultimate reward for human beings in their devotion to their mothers.




Family New Muslims

Islam, Marriage & Far-reaching Benefits

Marriage serves the purpose of bringing together a husband and wife as believers in their Lord

Marriage serves the purpose of bringing together a husband and wife as believers in their Lord, who will walk the path of Islam together.


The institution of marriage was established by Allah at the beginning of creation. The Prophet Adam (upon him be peace) was married to his wife Eve (upon her be peace). From this moment, Allah prescribed the forming of marital unions in order to benefit the faith, the family, the society, and the love and companionship of the married.

Allah said:

O Adam, live with your wife in Paradise and eat from wherever you will but do not approach this tree, lest you be among the wrongdoers. (Al-A`raf 7:19)

As it is written in the Torah:

Therefore, a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

As it is written in the Gospel:

From the beginning of creation, Allah made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, what Allah has joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mark 10:6-9)

Benefits of Faith

Marriage serves the purpose of bringing together a husband and wife as believers in their Lord, who will walk the path of Islam together in submission to the Creator of the universe.

Allah said:

Allah has promised the believing men and believing women gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they will live eternally, and pleasant dwellings in gardens of perpetual residence, but approval from Allah is greater. That is the great success. (At-Tawbah 9:72)

Abu Hurairah reported: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:

“A woman is married for four reasons: her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion; so choose according to religion”. (Muslim)

Fatimah bint Qays reported: The Messenger of Allah said to me: “When you are lawful for marriage, then call for me”. So she called for him when she received proposals from Mu`awiya ibn Abi Sufyan, Abu Al-Jahm, and Usamah ibn Zayd. The Messenger of Allah said:

“As for Mu`awiya, then he is a poor man without any wealth (and cannot provide for you), and as for Abu Al-Jahm, he frequently beats women; rather, you should choose Usama.”

She gestured with her hand saying that she did not want to marry Usama, but the Messenger of Allah said to her:

“Obedience to Allah and His Messenger is better for you.” (Ahmad)

So Fatimah married Usamah and she was so happy that she was envied by others.

Benefits of Family

Marriage serves the purpose of bringing two families together, encouraging reconciliation between them, protecting the rights of women and children, and producing righteous offspring who will be happy in this life and the Hereafter.

Allah said:

Live with them in kindness, for if you dislike them, then perhaps you dislike something but Allah has placed therein much good. (An-Nisa’ 4:19)

And Allah said:

The believers say: Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring joy to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous. (Al-Furqan 25:74)

`A’ishah reported: The Messenger of Allah said:

“The best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best to my family”. (At-Tirmidhi)

Abu Hurairah reported: The Messenger of Allah said:

“The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are the best in behavior to their women”. (At-Tirmidhi)

Benefits of Society

Marriage serves the purpose of strengthening the common good through stable family relationships, reconciling Muslims with the peoples of the scripture, and emancipating slaves.

Allah said:

Lawful in marriage are chaste women from among the believers and chaste women from among those who were given the Scripture before you, when you have given them their due compensation, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse or taking secret lovers. (Al-Ma’idah 5:5)

And Allah said:

Marry the unmarried among you and the righteous among your male slaves and female slaves. If they should be poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty, for Allah is All-Encompassing and Knowing. (An-Nur 24:32)

Burda reported: The Messenger of Allah said:

“A man will have a double reward who owns a servant girl and he mentors her, teaches her , and educates her in the best way, then he emancipates her and marries her.” (Al-Bukhari)

Benefits of Love and Companionship

Marriage serves the purpose of fostering love and companionship between a husband and wife, promoting their happiness, and respecting their complementary nature.

Allah said:

Among His signs is that He created for you mates from yourselves that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you love and mercy. Verily, in that are signs for a people who give thought. (Ar-Rum 30:21)

And Allah said:

Exalted is He who created all pairs – from what the earth grows and from themselves and from that which they do not know. (Ya-Sin 36:36)

And Allah said:

O mankind, verily, We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. (Al-Hujurat 49:13)

Anas ibn Malik reported:

“`Abdur-Rahman ibn `Awf married a woman and he gave her the weight of a date stone in gold as a dowry. The Prophet noticed the signs of happiness on his face, so he asked him about it and `Abdur-Rahman said:

‘Indeed, I have married a woman and I have given her the weight of a date stone in gold’.” (Al-Bukhari)

Ibn `Abbas reported: The Messenger of Allah said:

“We do not see for those who love one another anything like marriage.” (Ibn Majah)

`A’ishah reported: The Messenger of Allah said:

“Verily, women are only the counterparts of men.”  (Ahmad)

Success comes from Allah, and Allah knows best.




Family New Muslims

New Muslims, Niqab and Family Issues

What is the wisdom behind and the ruling of a Muslim woman wearing a niqab (face veil)? Is wearing a niqab obligatory in Islam?

Besides, my parents are difficult. They deal with me rudely that I feel offended.

How do I deal with them? How should I respond to such rudeness? Do I have to cope with them, particularly when one of them are alcoholic? Should I cut them off my life?

What right do they have upon me? In what manner should I behave with them Islamically?

Sheikh Yasir Qadhi answers here…


Family New Muslims

Family Life: Lessons from the Qur’an

The Qur’an is not a storybook of wondrous tales and ancient fables, isolated from the realities and complexities of real life. Each verse, in fact, each letter is miraculously endowed with the precision of meaning, succinctness of message and purity of sound.

Family Comes First

The more you look into the Qur’an and approach it with a sincere heart, give it your attention while assuming its magnificence, the more your heart connects with the Al-Mighty.

The life lessons that can be taken from any surah are amazing, but Surat Ṭa-Ha in particular is unique in this regard.

Here I will reflect on the life lessons that can be derived from Surat Ṭa-Ha (the 20th chapter of the Qur’an which chronicles the life of Musa. Commentators point out that apart from two short references to Musa in earlier surahs:Or, has he not been informed of what is in the scriptures of Musa?” (Al-Kahf 53:36) and “The scriptures of Abraham and Moses” (Al-A`la 87:19), the narrative appearing in Surat Ṭa-Ha, particularly the verses 9–98, is undoubtedly the earliest Qur’anic exposition of the story of Musa.

Life lessons from the Qur’an are infinite. The more you look into the Qur’an and approach it with a sincere heart, give it your attention while assuming its magnificence, the more your heart connects with the Al-Mighty.

Has the story of Moses come to you (Prophet)? He saw a fire and said to his people, “Stay here – I can see a fire. Maybe I can bring you a flaming brand from it or find some guidance there”. (Al-Kahf 20:9-10)

These two verses contain many important lessons that I think we can all benefit from. In particular we can focus on ten important lessons that impact our family life. This does not limit, of course, business and management applications, educational considerations, and other professional dimensions.

Life Lessons

1- Family Comes First

Musa (peace be upon him) seeks to ensure his family’s safety and comfort by asking them to wait for him in the cold darkness of the night while he departs to investigate the source of fire at a distance from them. Never compromise your family and lead them into the unknown.

2- Present Danger is Better Than Hidden Danger

Musa knows it is dangerous to leave his family in the dark expanse of the desert that they lost their way in. Yet, that is less a danger than walking into a campfire of what could possibly be a group of brigands who would harm him and his family. The known danger is clear and evident, but at least it is predictable.

3- Danger to One Is Better Than Exposing Many

Musa instinctively decides that the danger faced by him, alone, is worth the risk of warmth and guidance to safety. Judgment is imperative when a preponderance of danger exists. The less exposure, whether financially, psychologically, spiritually and physically, the better.

4- One Person Takes the Final Decision

In trying circumstances, defined, clear and unambiguous directions can be the difference between life and death, health and sickness, safety and tragedy. In all decisions, especially within the household, a unified singular voice needs to provide leadership and direction.

5- Leaders Consult & Explain Their Decision Making Process

Musa explains, in detail, why he has made the decision to investigate the fire and to leave his family behind. It is reasoned, rational and explicit. Often, complaints arise about a decision being made without consultation and explanation. That contradicts the established prophetic model. Decisions are not demands and the authority to make them is not inherent to one party over another except by virtue of trust. Trust is lost not by poor decisions but by poor consultation.

6- Speak to All Whom Your Decision Impacts

Musa spoke to all his family/people, not just his wife. Taking counsel with your sons and daughters in important decisions is a way of ensuring reciprocation when they reach an age of decision making ability for themselves. If you ignore their voices, then expect them not to share it with you.

7- Don’t Promise What Is Not Assured

Musa says, “Maybe/perhaps I can bring you” (Al-Kahf 20:10) and does not speak in definite. Nothing undermines credibility of a parent with their children more than unfulfilled promises. The greatest wedge between a husband and wife are vows that are not maintained and assurances not met. Speak the truth and do not embellish.

8- Maximize Your Benefit from Assumed Danger

Musa calculates what he stands to gain; warmth, light, guidance out of the desert, return with a flaming brand and more.  Always seek maximum benefit, even from precarious situations that others may view as a complete loss.

9- Prioritize

Musa speaks about warmth and a flaming brand to return with and provide comfort and light for his family, before he speaks about finding their way. He understands the greatest need and seeks to fulfill it before other essentials.

10- Take Responsibility

Musa says “I can” (Al-Kahf 20:10) to legitimize his decision. He assumes responsibility for the decision and intends a positive outcome, even though he does not guarantee it. Families disintegrate due to a lack of responsibility. Standing up and assuming leadership equally necessitates being responsible when things go bad.

The Qur’an alludes to all human experience and seeks to enrich the finite time we spend on earth before our return to our Maker the Most High.

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was commanded to follow his predecessors and take heed from their trials while finding inspiration in their eventual divinely ordained triumph.

Allah, the Most High, encourages us to look into the final Word and take heed of its lessons and parable:

And We have certainly diversified in this Qur’an for the people from every (kind of) example; but man has ever been, most of anything, (prone to) dispute. (Al-Kahf 20:54)