Tag: conversion story

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Meet Aminah Assilmi: The True Truth Seeker (Part 1)

 

Little did I know that Islam would change my life.

When I first started to study Islam, I did not expect to find anything that I needed or wanted in my personal life. Little did I know that Islam would change my life.

This American lady, a former radical feminist and Southern Baptist from Oklahoma, studied the Qur’an, Sahih Muslim and fifteen other books on Islam in an attempt to convert the Arabs in her college class to Christianity and ‘save those poor ignorant heathens from the fires of hell’. But guess what happened!

The Introduction and Decision

I was completing a degree in Recreation, when I met my first Muslims. It was the first year that we had been able to pre-register by computer. I pre-registered and went to Oklahoma to take care of some family business. The business took longer than expected, so I returned to school two weeks into the semester (too late to drop a course).

I wasn’t worried about catching up my missed work. I was sitting at the top of my class, in my field. Even as a student, I was winning awards, in competition with professionals.

Now, you need to understand that while I was attending college and excelling, ran my own business, and had many close friends, I was extremely shy. My transcripts actually had me listed as severely reticent. I was very slow to get to know people and rarely spoke to anyone unless was forced to, or already knew them. The classes I was taking has to do administration and city planning, plus programming for children. Children were the only people I ever felt comfortable with.

Well, back to the story. The computer printout held one enormous surprise for me. I was registered for a Theatre class; a class where I would be required to perform in front of real live people. I was horrified! I could not even ask a question in class, how was I going to get on a stage in front of people? My husband was his usual very calm and sensible self. He suggested that I talk to the teacher, explain the problem, and arrange to paint scenery or sew costumes. The teacher agreed to try and find a way to help me out. So I went to class the following Tuesday.

When I entered the classroom, I received my second shock. The class was full of ‘Arabs’ and ‘camel jockeys’. Well, I had never seen one but I had heard of them.

There was no way I was going to sit in a room full of dirty heathens! After all, you could catch some dreadful disease from those people. Everyone knew they were dirty, not to be trusted either. I shut the door and went home. (Now, there is one little thing you should know. I had on a pair of leather hot pants, a halter top, and a glass of wine in my hands…but they were the bad ones in my mind.)

When I told my husband about the Arabs in the class and that there was no way I was going back, he responded in his usual calm way. He reminded that I was always claiming that God had a reason for everything and maybe I should spend some time thinking about it before I made my final decision. He also reminded me that I had a scholars’ award that was paying my tuition and if I wanted to keep it, I would have to maintain my G.P.A. Three credit hours or ‘F’ would have destroyed my chances. For the next two days, I prayed for guidance. On Thursday I went back to the class convinced that God had put me there to save those poor ignorant heathens from the fires of hell.

I proceeded to explain to them how they would burn in the fires of hell for all eternity, if they did not accept Jesus as their personal savior. They were very polite, but did not convert. Then, I explained how Jesus loved them and had died on the cross to save them from their sins. All they had to do was accept him into their hearts. They were very polite, but still did not convert. So, I decided to read their own book to show them that Islam was a false religion and Muhammad was a false God.

One of the students gave me a copy of the Qur’an and another book about Islam, and I proceeded with my research. I was sure I would find the evidence I needed very quickly. Well, I read the Qur’an and the other book. Then I read another 15 books, Sahih Muslim and returned to the Qur’an. I was determined I would convert them! My studies continued for the next one and half years.

During that time, I started having a few problems with my husband. I was changing, just in little ways but enough to bother him. We used to go to the bar every Friday and Saturday, or to a party, and I no longer wanted to go. I was quieter and more distant. He was sure I was having an affair, so he kicked me out. I moved into an apartment with my children and continued my determined efforts to convert the Muslims to Christianity.

The, one day, there was a knock on my door. I opened the door and saw a man in a long white night gown with a red and white checkered table cloth on his head. He was accompanied by three men in pajamas. (It was the first time I had ever seen their cultural dress.)

Well, I was more than a little offended by men showing up at my door in night clothes. What kind of a woman did they think I was? Had they no pride or dignity? Imagine my shock when the one wearing the table cloth said he understood I wanted to be a Muslim! I quickly informed him I did not want to be a Muslim. I was Christian. However, I did have a few questions. If he had the time!

His name was `Abdul-`Aziz Al-Shiekh and he made the time. He was very patient and discussed every question with me. He never made me feel silly or that a question was stupid. He asked me if I believed there was only one God and I said yes. Then he asked if I believed Muhammad was His Messenger. Again I said yes. He told me that I was already a Muslim!

I argued that I was Christian; I was just trying to understand Islam. (Inside I was thinking: I couldn’t be a Muslim! I was American and white! What would my husband say? If I am Muslim, I will have to divorce my husband. My family would die!)

We continued talking. Later, he explained that attaining knowledge and understanding of spirituality was a little like climbing a ladder. If you climb a ladder and try to skip a few rungs, there was danger of falling. The Shahadah (Testimony of Faith) was just the first step on the ladder. Still we had to talk some more.

Later that afternoon, May 21, 1977 at `Asr (afternoon), I took Shahadah. However, there were still some things I could not accept and it was my nature to be completely truthful so i added a disclaimer. I said: ‘I bear witness that there is no god but God and Mohammed is His Messenger’, ‘but, I will never cover my hair and if my husband takes another wife, I will castrate him’.

I heard gasps from the other men in the room, but `Abdul-`Aziz silenced them. Later I learned that he told the brothers never to discuss those two subjects with me. He was sure I would come to the correct understanding.

The Shahadah was indeed a solid footing on the ladder to spiritual knowledge and closeness to God. But it has been a slow climb. `Abdul-`Aziz continued to visit me and answer my questions. May Allah reward him for his patience and tolerance. He never admonished me or acted like a question was stupid or silly. He treated each question with dignity and told me that the only stupid question was the one never asked. Hmmm…my grandmother used to say that.

He explained that Allah told us to seek knowledge and questions were one of the ways to accomplish that. When he explained something, it was like watching a rose open – petal by petal, until it reached its full glory. When I told him that I did not agree with something and why, he always said I was correct up to a point. The he would show me how to look deeper and from different directions to reach a fuller understanding. Al-hamdu lillah!

Over the years, I had many teachers; each one special, each one different. I am thankful for each one of them and the knowledge they gave. Each teacher helped me to grow and to love Islam more. As my knowledge increased, the changes in me became more apparent.

Within the first year, I was wearing hijab. I have no idea when I started. It came naturally, with increased knowledge and understanding. In time I even came to a proponent of polygamy. I knew that if Allah had allowed it, there had to be something good in it.

Glorify the name of thy Guardian – Lord Most High, Who hascreated, and further, given order and proportion; Who has measured, and granted guidance; and Who brings out the (green and lush) pasture, and does make it (but) swarthy stubble, By degrees shall We teach you (the Message), so you shall not forget, except as Allah wills: for He knows what is manifest and what is hidden. And We will make it easy for you (to follow) the simple (path). (Al-A`la 87:1-8)

When I first started to study Islam, I did not expect to find anything that I needed or wanted in my personal life. Little did I know that Islam would change my life. No human could have ever convinced me that I would finally be at peace and overflowing with love and joy because of Islam.

This book spoke of the One God, the Creator of the universe. It described the beautiful way in which He had organized the world. This wondrous Qur’an had all the answers. Allah is the Loving! Allah is the source of peace! Allah is the Protector! Allah is the Forgiver! Allah is the Provider! Allah is the Maintainer! Allah is the Generous One! Allah is the Responsive! Allah is the Protecting Friend! Allah is the Expander!

Have we not expanded you your breast? And removed from you your burden, which did gall your back? And raised high the esteem (in which) though (art held)? So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: Verily, with every difficulty there is relief! (Al-Inshirah 94:1-6)

The Qur’an addressed all the issues of existence and showed a clear path to success. It was like a map forgiving, an owner manual for life!

                                                                               To be continued…

_________________________

Source: whyislam.org.

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Conversion Stories New Muslims

Eric Mason, Former Catholic, Converts to Islam

Eric Mason spent a great portion of his life in the Muslim world. After over 30 years of being in Saudi Arabia, Eric decided to turn to one of the largest religions in the world, Islam. In this Show former Christian preacher Yusuf Estes interviews a former Christian, Eric Mason, and asks him why he became a Muslim.

Source: Taken with kind permission from thedeenshow.com.

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Conversion Stories New Muslims

A German Physician and His Wife Convert to Islam

Watch this interview to learn how the German physician, Kai Luehr, and his Catherine, found logic and rationality in Islam.

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Conversion Stories New Muslims

Suhaib Webb, Ex-Christian, Convert to Islam

Suhaib Webb is a contemporary American-Muslim educator, activist, and lecturer. His work bridges classical and contemporary Islamic thought, addressing issues of cultural, social and political relevance to Muslims in the West. After converting to Islam in 1992, Webb left his career in the music industry to pursue his passion in education.  He earned a Bachelor’s in Education from the University of Central Oklahoma and received intensive private training in the Islamic Sciences under a renowned Muslim Scholar of Senegalese descent. Webb was hired as the Imam at the Islamic Society of Greater Oklahoma City, where he gave khutbas (sermons), taught religious classes, and provided counseling to families and young people; he also served as an Imam and resident scholar in communities across the U.S.

From 2004-2010, Suhaib Webb studied at the world’s preeminent Islamic institution of learning, Al-Azhar University, in the College of Shari`ah. During this time, after several years of studying the Arabic Language and the Islamic legal tradition, he also served as the head of the English Translation Department at Dar al-Ifta al-Misriyyah.

Outside of his studies at Al-Azhar, Suhaib Webb completed the memorization of the Quran in the city of Makkah, Saudi Arabia. He has been granted numerous traditional teaching licenses (ijazat), adhering to centuries-old Islamic scholarly practice of ensuring the highest standards of scholarship.

Webb was named one of the 500 Most Influential Muslims in the World by the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center in 2010 and his website, www.SuhaibWebb.com, was voted the best “Blog of the Year” by the 2009 Brass Crescent awards.

Suhaib Webb has lectured extensively around the world including in the Middle East, East Asia, Europe, North Africa and North America. Upon returning from his studies in Egypt, Webb lived in the Bay Area, California, where he worked with the Muslim American Society from Fall 2010 to Winter 2011. He recently accepted a position as the Imam of the Islamic Society of Boston’s Cultural Center (ISBCC) on December 1st, 2011 and moved to Boston with his family. Watch this Show to see how he came to Islam.

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Source: Taken with kind permission from thedeenshow.com.

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Conversion Stories New Muslims

Loon, an Ex-Bad Boy Rapper, Accepts Islam

Loon was part of P. Diddy’s Bad Boy records, where he released his self-titled debut album. In 2004, He left Bad Boy to start his own label, Boss Up Entertainment. He started his music career as a member of Mase’s rap collective Harlem World (group). Along with his music, he has also been featured in two movies directed by Damon Dash: State Property 2, and Death of a Dynasty. He converted to Islam while on a tour in Dubai in December 2008, and changed his name to Amir Junaid Muhadith. Watch this video about Loon’s conversion.

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Conversion Stories New Muslims

Cat Stevens Into Yusuf Islam

In 1975, British singer-songwriter and international superstar Cat Stevens experienced a near death experience that led him to an unforeseen journey towards Islam. This interesting video reveals the reasons behind Cat’s disappearance from stardom and his spiritual journey towards faith and Islam. It shows how and why Islam appealed to and inspired Cat and made him rethink life.

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From Atheism, to Christianity to Islam

someone making du`a'

Step by step, I learned that Islam is not a militant religion.

I once knew an atheist who claimed he had never believed in God’s existence. In his view, believers were supposed to be people of weak character who felt the necessity to find a crutch for their inability and laziness, so they attended church. He felt agitated if, when debating religion, he could not persuade the opponent with his arguments. He despised believers in an almost hysterical way. He had, however, a very good friend who believed in God. They agreed to refrain from discussing religion whenever together.

One day this man, probably in a rare moment of weakness, accepted the invitation of his friend to visit his church. To himself, he laughed at the thought of speaking out in the middle of mass and laughing and pointing his finger at the believers from the pulpit. However, as we know, God works in mysterious ways. He went to church, stood in the back benches, and stared at the people praying.

The mass service started and he gave all of them a sarcastic glance. Then the sermon began, lasting about 15 minutes. Suddenly, in the middle of the sermon, tears welled in his eyes. A strange feeling of joy and happiness washed away his animosity, a feeling that engulfed his entire body. After mass, the two friends left together. They were silent until the moment they were to part ways, when he asked his friend whether they could go to church together again. They agreed to go again the next day.

It’s possible some of you might have guessed that I was that stubborn atheist. I had felt nothing but contempt and hatred towards people of faith. But after that sermon in 1989, when the priest discussed how we should not judge others if we don’t want to be judged, my life suddenly took a dramatic turn.

I started attending church services regularly and was thirsty for any information on God and Jesus Christ. I took part in meetings with Christian youngsters where we exchanged our spiritual experiences. I felt resurrected. Suddenly I felt the need to be in the company of believers. I needed to make up for the past 18 years.

I was brought up in an atheist family, who except for having me baptized, did not exercise any attempt to guide my spiritual development. I remember being in sixth grade when a comrade was sent by the Communist Party to explain to us why God does not exist. I remember myself absorbing his every word. In my case, I needed no convincing. I believed everything he said. His arrogance, contempt, and hatred towards believers became mine. But now I had to make up for all those years.

I met with a priest and others who guided me in this new direction. I was full of so many questions, to which they responded. Later, I was to realize a big mistake: I accepted everything without contemplation or reflection. I could say that they explained things to me in a ‘take-it-as-is’ manner, but that would not be fair to them. It was, in fact, my mistake. I didn’t reflect upon their words, nor did I think critically. This would cause me a lot of complications later. In retrospect, I believe an important factor that influenced my behavior was age. I was too young to properly comprehend matters so serious and complicated as faith.

I wished to become a good Christian, and God knows I tried very hard. Yet over time, I could not reconcile the contradictions found in the Bible, such as the divine nature of Prophet Jesus and the concept of inherited sin. Priests tried to respond to my questions, but eventually, their patience began to run thin. I was told that such matters should be accepted on faith, and that these questions were a waste of time and would only serve to distance me from God. Till this day, I recall myself quarreling with a spiritual leader, an event that restarted my self-destructive tendencies. Maybe I wasn’t right after all. I was young.

How I Became Muslim

My path toward Islam wasn’t easy at all. You may think that since I was disappointed with Christianity, I would have immediately accepted Islam as my faith. This could have been very simple, but all I knew about Islam at the time were things like Muslims refer to God as Allah, they read the Qur’an instead of the Bible, and they worship somebody called Muhammad. Also, I think I was not yet ready to accept Islam.

So I withdrew from the church community and claimed to be a soloist Christian. I found out, however, that even though I didn’t miss the community of believers or church, God was ‘settled’ so deep in my heart that I couldn’t let Him go. I didn’t even try. Quite the opposite. I felt happy to have God around and hoped He was on my side.

Later I began to engage in one stupidity after another, living a life of luxury and lust. I did not realize that such a road would lead me away from God and towards hell. A friend of mine says that you need to hit rock bottom in order to feel the ground beneath your feet. This is exactly what happened to me. I fell really deep. I can just imagine how Satan must have been waiting for me with open arms, but God did not give up on me and gave me another chance.

In July 2001, I met a young man from Iraq. His name was Ibrahim. We very quickly struck up a conversation. He told me that he was Muslim, and I responded that I was Christian. I was worried that my being Christian would be a problem, but I was wrong. I was glad to be wrong. It was interesting that I did not want to become Muslim and he did not try to convert me.

Although I considered Muslims an exotic group, I had been interested to learn more about Islam. It was a good opportunity to learn more. I realized that I had in front of me a man who could teach me a lot about Islam, so I mustered the courage to ask him to do just that. That was my first meeting with Islam, indeed my first step. After some time we parted ways, and I did not see him again, but the seed had been sown.

I remember once reading an interview with Mohammad Ali Silhavy (an old Czech Muslim) and being eager to find his address and write him a letter. Then came September 11. Because of the political climate, I thought it might not be an appropriate time to contact Mr. Silhavy. So I found myself at a dead end.

About two months later, I found the courage to write a long letter to Mr. Silhavy. After a while he replied and sent a package including Islamic literature and leaflets. He told me that he had informed the Islamic Foundation in Prague about me and asked them to send me the translation of the Qur’an. So this was my beginning. Step by step, I learned that not only is Islam not a militant religion, but to the contrary, it is a religion of peace. My questions were answered.

Because of certain circumstances, it wasn’t until three years later that I decided to visit Mr. Silhavy. He showed a lot of patience while explaining to me different issues, and suggested that I visit the mosque of Brno (Czech Republic). When I went to the mosque of Brno, I was afraid that I would be seen as a stranger, an outsider. How surprised I was to find quite the opposite. I met K. and L., who were the first persons to help me. Of course, I met other brothers who welcomed me in the warmest possible way.

I began to delve into all aspects of Islam, and found how understandable and logical Islam is. I gradually started to learn how to pray, and today I master Prayer with no problem, even in Arabic. I gave up a bad habit of mine that was not compatible with Islam. I was a gambler and a very good one indeed. It was a difficult struggle with myself, but with God’s help I won that battle.

If I ever doubted my interest in Islam or whether I could live as a Muslim, I know now that my interest is permanent and I consider myself one of them. Maybe it looks very simple, but again with God’s help I won this internal struggle. I thought carefully before I definitively decided to embrace Islam. To be honest, throughout 2003 and the beginning of 2004, I was not completely sure if I could manage this. Finally I decided definitively. I am not that young man from the early ’90s anymore.

That’s why today I feel very happy that I am Muslim. I finally feel free. I still have my imperfections but I am trying to improve upon them. I believe that God will help me. Now, listen to what I want to tell you and consider this my obligation: I believe in my heart and declare by word that there is no other god but God and Muhammad is God’s Messenger.

________________

Source: Onislam.net

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From Buddhist, to Agnostic, to Muslim

mosque and sun

After saying the Shahadah, I felt that I became a better person.

I was born in London, specifically East London to a non strict Buddhist family.

My mum is a Buddhist whilst my two big brothers are atheists but follow that religion because of my mother.

My family’s background is Vietnamese, therefore, Buddhism is somewhat the common religion amongst us which we derived from our family tree.

I was 15 years old at that time and living in an area that was mostly populated by southern Asian people. Ever since I was young, I was always into religion due to my influence from my dad, who does not live with us anymore and is a strict Buddhist.

Being always interested in the aspect of religion, I used to love reading books on different types of religion but mostly Buddhism as I was brought up in that sense. I knew that thinking this way, I was going to be a faithful, practicing Buddhist in the future.

As I grew up, being around in an area populated by Muslims influenced me into researching and exploring more about Islam. Having many close friends who were Muslim, we somewhat had a conversation about converting to Islam out of the blue in a random school day.

Being asked to convert at that time while I was only 15, I was scared by the whole concept of conversion and immediately avoided that question because of the fact that being only a teenager, living with a family of Buddhists; it would be impossible to fulfill my religion. But at times, I started to think deeply about Islam and began researching a lot about converting. By the time I read so much about it, I fell in love with Islam.

It was the upcoming Ramadan and I began to feel eager about converting to Islam but didn’t have the power nor the strength to carry on fulfilling my duties as a Muslim if I converted.

I attempted to try and forget this matter and said to myself ”Maybe when I’m older and when I have more authority and an independent opinion, I would convert”.

I forced myself to try and research more about Buddhism and learn more about it before making such a drastic step. In the end, after researching, all this aspect of religion made me fall into deep confusion, questioning about my life and the most common question; ”Who is God?”.

I realized that just because my family is Buddhist doesn’t mean I am a Buddhist myself. I felt that having a religion in the beginning takes a lot of commitment and submission. I realized that I was an agnostic all along.

As days past, I felt that I wasn’t who I was any more, I felt lost and unsure about my life. The question came up again between me and my friend, she even insisted that she would take me to the mosque to support me.

At that time, I felt so paranoid and worried that what if my family finds out, the consequences of it, or myself ot being able to commit to Islam.

All these problems sprouted in my head, and I started to feel that converting as such is a hassle to me. However, I started to have several dreams that were very daunting to me and made me feel fearful whenever I thought about it.

I dreamt about  The Day of Judgment. I remember every single detail of it which made me feel very scared because knowing myself I would not be able to remember dreams but only glimpses of it. The dream included me in it, I was somewhat near my house with some sort of feeling or determination inside my mind and heart that I needed to convert. Living next to a mosque, I found myself walking inside it, asking the Imam if I was able to convert to Islam. However, at the back of my head, I felt that something was about to happen, somewhat dreadful that would be too late if I did not make this choice now.

 

The Imam agreed and the conversion process took a couple of days, in different steps and actions. But things changed, the Imam told me to come back another day during the process and I yelled towards him that time was running out and I needed to convert as soon as possible.

 

Then, I found myself in a park with all my fellow friends and students, looking up at the sky, it was turning dark and getting grey, then a massive dark hole appeared in the sky and destroyed everything around us, causing a catastrophe. I woke up shivering and scared to death.

 

Being already a paranoid and superstitious person, this dream must have some sort of meaning to it.

 

Feeling much more passionate towards Islam, I felt that the dream might be related to that, as if Allah Himself was trying to tell me something. I didn’t know what to do nor what to say when I told my friend about it, and got a reply saying ”It is true”.

 

I decided that Islam may be the right religion for me and that I should convert very soon. It was two days till I was going to make that right decision, when I happened to have another dream again relating to Islam.

 

I was reading the Qur’an online until something popped up on my laptop screen, written in Arabic. I did not know what it was and I suddenly panicked, closing the laptop screen and running away. Then I heard a sudden voice that was bellowing, saying to me ”Why doesn’t he believe me? Why doesn’t he listen to me?” I woke up, not being able to move my body for a couple of seconds, sweating and breathing deeply.

 

At this time, I knew that these dreams were true, and I was becoming very eager to convert. I knew that Allah was trying to tell me something, as if He Himself was leading me to this path. When the time came, I felt nervous and worried about it, but after saying the Shahadah, I felt that I became a better person, a different person, a Muslim.

 

It was my first Ramadan after converting to Islam, which was very hard for me to fast and avoid unlawful food, etc. I felt alone at times because I didn’t have my family to support me neither was I able to express myself, rather being a closeted Muslim.

 

I knew that Allah was by my side, and I would try my best to stay as a good Muslim as possible. I began learning how to pray in Arabic, perform ablution,   avoid forbidden food, and repent whenever I committed a sin to Allah. Until one time when I was praying `Isha’ (Night Prayer), my brother caught me and questioned me in a very weird manner; ”What the hell are you doing? ”I simply told him that I was a Muslim, feeling afraid of what he would do. He simply smiled to me and said ”Really? So it was true what mum said, I won’t tell anyone.”

 

My heart skipped a beat whilst I was in shock, surprised that my mum would already pick this up. I knew that if I had told my mum, things would have become so difficult and she would somewhat look down on me.

 

Therefore, I knew that she waited for me to tell her from my own mouth to see if it was true or not, but I simply didn’t have the courage to say it. Looking back, being 16, almost heading off to College, still praying my daily Prayers, fasting, going to Friday Prayers, still being a closeted Muslim, having a strong  faith more than ever, I realized that I still haven’t changed and I am still thankful to Almighty Allah that He had given me another chance to escape Hell and to start my life off again.

 

Thank you so much Allah for shedding light on me. I will never forget this blessing and will never stop serving you. Alhamdulillah, Amen.

 

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Source: Onislam.net.

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Conversion Stories New Muslims

How Abu Hafsah Abdul Malik Clare Converted to Islam

Abu Hafsah Abdul Malik Clare (Jerome Clare), was born totally without sight and raised Canada. He embraced Islam in 1996. Here he is London on December 25th 2011 with iERA at the Arise and Warn Tour. He is telling his conversion story.

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From Sea of Violence to the Safety of Islam

Within myself I wanted to put an end to my sins. I didn’t want to continue being bad.

Within myself I wanted to put an end to my sins. I didn’t want to continue being bad.

My name is Nick Storms, that’s my name before I became Muslim. I was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, and I’m twenty seven years old.

Muhammad Islam is my name after I became Muslim. I had a very difficult childhood; I came from a very violent background. My family you could say were very bad people.

So that was my upbringing; violence, crimes, drugs, etc.

I don’t know my father as he left when I was two my mother deported back to State. It was me, my two sisters and my mother. My uncles and my cousin who where living were we were. We were a tight-knit family, but with relation to bad things only.

I thought the world was a very negative place because of my family and because of this environment. I couldn’t see many positives. Also my family restricted my access to other things, all the time wanting to do things with them, what accordingly reinforced that nothing good going on.

When I was young I felt the fray, but when I grew up a little bit I became pretty normal. So my family then was not any more afraid of me being out of the team. That’s initially because when you are young and be bombarded with a lot of bad things it makes you feel uneasy, just like any hardship you get accustomed to.

When I was about eight years old I would go to a bakery and I would wash dishes for hours, but I was too young to be paid money. So what they (the bakery) would do is to pay me in food; some bread, jam, dates, etc.

I would go home and feed my two sisters as my mother would be off doing some other crime or would be in jail. When you see you haven’t eaten for a couple of days so you have to try to do something to feed yourself and your family as our family wouldn’t really take care of us.

I started my career when I was fourteen I was never close enough to many people to see or friends that I could call on. I never really trusted anybody. And school wasn’t for me; I never finished school, I didn’t have time for it. It didn’t appeal to me as many things did at the time. I would rob, steal a lot of things, and insult people.

I was never alone, but I felt lonely. I felt like there was a void thing missing. I don’t like recalling the past really, but as it is for the interview, it’s OK.

A lot of the crimes that I would do were just out of boredom. The payoff was like a bonus. For example, I would steal a car because I didn’t want to walk. So somewhere I was just taking somebody’s car.

At that time I lost all concern for people’s feelings and I felt no one concerns my feelings; if I would hurt somebody, I wouldn’t care about what they think or feel. I didn’t care at all at this time.

Embracing Islam

Within myself I wanted to put an end to my sins. I didn’t want to continue being bad. So, the way I started to ask questions when I was by myself was along the lines of ‘I don’t know if there’s a God or if You exist. I don’t know if you could hear me or am I talking to myself! I want to know why I’m alive’.

With such questions I would be talking to myself for long, wondering if I’m not talking to myself then there’s a real Creator as people would call Him.

‘Can you show me why I’m alive? If there’s a reason why I’m here, can you just show it to me?’ I was asking over and over.

I stressed the point that I needed to be shown the truth because I didn’t trust anybody, let alone somebody telling me about God.

I had a brother named Ahmad. He talked to me about Islam initially, but whatever he told me I didn’t believe him. He would mention things like heaven and hell. And I didn’t believe what he was saying until I had a dream of both the places.  Even then I was resistant. I didn’t give it intention. The, I had a dream about Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

So things happened to me when I was awake and when I was asleep as well, and it happened to me a lot and in a very small amount of time. So as soon as Ahmad stared talking to me about Islam but I didn’t believe him, Allah only knew that I would believe him. Words like Islam, Muhammad, and Allah started resonating and things started happening…

Turning Point

It was very difficult doing what someone else wanted you to do, even if it is God. I sat down on my knees, sitting back like people do when they finish the prayer and I just started crying and drooling hysterically. I couldn’t control myself.

In fact I was crying some twenty years of betrayal, stress, violence, anger and all these things that were built up then.  It was like Allah allowed me to get rid of it, and I cried for very long time that I couldn’t move. And I remember saying at the end of it: ‘Alright alright, I’ll do what you want me to do’.

Now I’m most pleased that I pray. It is important; very important. A feeling of safety from Allah and from His punishment, that’s what I get out of it. It is calmness that I’m alright right now until the next prayer comes in, until tomorrow.

My future I see it positive in the dunya (this life) because it’s going to be controlled and simple. That’s my positive future; very simple lifestyle: ‘don’t hurt anybody, don’t get hurt’. In sha’ Allah (Allah willing) if I get forgiveness in the Hereafter, that’s what makes me feel really positive. If I am forgiven it would be great in sha’ Allah.

Watch brother Nick describes his amazing life-changing journey to Islam…

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