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Ethics & Values New Muslims

New Muslims & Loneliness

believer

When the person truly obeys Allah, he is overcome with the feeling that he and all the forces of this creation are acting as one in worshipping the One and only true God.

When many Muslims think of Ramadan they can remember beautiful moments spent together as a family: eating suhoor (pre-fast meal) and iftar (meal to break the fast), bustling into the car to make it to the masjid for Tarawih (late night congregational prayer), celebrating `Eid together.

Yet speaking to some reverts will reveal the deep sense of loneliness they can experience at iftar or on `Eid day. This article had initially been intended for any revert brothers or sisters experiencing loneliness during Ramadan. However as I came to realize, this feeling of loneliness is not restricted to reverts or the month of Ramadan, so I hope it will be of benefit to whomever and whenever they feel utterly alone. So here’s an ayah (verse) to reflect upon from the Book of Allah, a mercy, healing, and source of peace for the believers.

Whatever is in the heavens and earth exalts Allah, and He is the Exalted in might, the Wise. (Al-Hadid 57:1)

“Whatever is in the heavens and earth”

We should not feel we’re alone in worshipping our Creator and try to fulfill our sole purpose on this earth. You may be the only Muslim in your house, neighborhood, or even town, but remember that everything in the heavens and earth – the trees, birds, plants, animals, and so on – are also declaring the perfection of Allah, subhanahu wa ta`ala (Exalted is He).

The seven heavens and the earth and whatever is in them exalt Him. And there is not a thing except that it exalts (Allah) by His praise, but you do not understand their (way of) exalting. Indeed, He is ever Forbearing and Forgiving. (Al-Israa’ 17:44)

Do you not see that to Allah prostrates whoever is in the heavens and whoever is on the earth, and the sun, and the moon, and the stars, and the mountains, and the trees, the moving creatures, and many of the people? But upon many the punishment has been justified. And he whom Allah humiliates – for him there is no bestower of honor. Indeed, Allah does what He wills. (Al-Hajj 22:18)

So let’s remember that the greatest blessing that Allah bestowed us with, out of His bounty, kindness, and mercy towards us, is that He guided us to be Muslims. Whether the people and environment around us do not know, realize, or fulfill their purpose, let’s remember that we are in the company of all that is in the heavens and earth exalting Allah and declaring His perfection—from the noble angels to tiny ants. (There is no deity worthy of worship but God).

The Angels

Beyond the creatures visible to us, the angels that belong to the realm of the unseen are in the constant worship of Allah.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) informed us: “The sky creaked and it had the right to creak: it had not a single space of four fingers on which an angel was not prostrating (in worship).” (Al-Bukhari)

Subhan Allah (Glory be to God)! We can also obtain a sense of blessed company by pushing ourselves to remain in our place after prayer:

“The angels supplicate in favor of one of you so long as he remains in the place where he has performed prayer and does not break his ablution or leave. They (the angels) say: ‘O Allah! Forgive him, O Allah! Have mercy on him.”’ (Malik, Ahmad, Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

We can use this time to say the sunnah adhkar (remembrances of Allah; specific du`a’, supplications, in this context) after salah (prayer) and do dhikr (remembrance of Allah). This quiet time and space to remember Allah has great spiritual benefit. It brings calmness and contentment of the heart as well as provides us with renewed spiritual strength and endurance.

The Outcome

So what’s the effects of the realization that “…every created being is in a state of submission to Allah and worships Him in a manner appropriate to its situation. The sun, moon, stars, trees and animals are all in a state of subjugation and (prostration) to Allah, and all of them worship Him in an appropriate manner”?

A believer may find ridicule and rejection, hindrance and objection, in his endeavor to obey Allah and adhere to the straight path. However “Allah’s soldiers are with him. The angels worship Allah and dedicate their lives to Him as the believer does. Thus, this true believer is not alone on the road to Allah.”  (Kitab Al-Iman: According to the Classical Works of Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, by Dr. Muhammad Naim Yasin)

As Sheikh Jamal Al-Din M. Zarabozo puts it: “An astounding result of this realization is that when the person truly obeys Allah, he is overcome with the feeling that he and all the forces of this creation are acting as one in worshipping the one and only true God and Creator.” (Purification of the Soul: Concept, Process, and Means)

Action Points

Remain sitting at your place of prayer a bit longer, as much as you can, whenever possible, remembering Allah (Exalted is He).

Allah is the One Who is praised extensively, and all that He does is praiseworthy, so we should remember His decree is praiseworthy and we are rewarded for showing patience and contentment. Be happy that we are among those whom Allah has guided to worship Him. We discussed how everything in the heavens and earth declares the perfection of Allah.

Learn a du`aa’ that our Prophet used to say in ruku` (bowing in prayer) and sujud (prostration): “Subooh, Qudoos, Rabb Al-Malaa’ikati wa Ar-RooH.” (the One Who is Exalted a lot, the One Who is very pure, the Lord of the angels and of Jibreel (Gabriel).

Also from this root of sa-ba-ha in subooh comes the dhikrsubhan Allah’  (Glory be to God). Choose a time every morning, daytime, or evening, to reap the following benefit: “Whoever says ‘Subhan-Allahi wa bihamdihi’ (Allah is free from imperfection and to Him belongs all the praise) 100 times a day, all his (minor) sins will be wiped out even if they are equal to the extent of the foam of the ocean.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Surely we’ll fell less lonely when praising and remembering Allah.

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Source: suhaibwebb.com.

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Categories
New Muslims Society

How the Prophet Cared for Converts

We can admit that we have a lot of room for improvement to get back to this idea of Islam being a refuge for people as they embrace Islam.

We have a lot of room for improvement to get back to the fact of Islam being a refuge for people as they embrace Islam.

It’s amazing to reflect upon that moment when the revelation came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and how people begin to embrace Islam and begin to follow the Prophet.

In a very real way Islam comes as a healing, but also as a disruptive force to the Arabian Peninsula. The nature of true religion is that it adds a taste to the society and highlights the negative things and ills in that society that need to be remedied. And it acts as the refuge for people in that society that may be suffering from the ills and in it. And this was the very case when Allah revealed the final revelation to our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

And so, people begin to embrace Islam, at first in smaller numbers, congregating in Dar Al-Arqam (the house where the Muslims used to meet) in Makkah. Then, as time passes, more and more people embrace Islam.

Just reflect for a moment on the idea that the Prophet and his closest Companions were there for people as they embraced Islam. That was a was a very real opportunity for a human transition to take place in addition to people processing and digesting the revelation as it came to the Prophet. With that came the idea of there being a refuge or safe place for people as they embraced Islam.

If you fast forward to our day and time and think for a moment about the parallel between Dar Al-Arqam; this refuge for new Muslims, this safe space for people, and what people find in our communities, I think– if we were honest with ourselves- we can admit that we have a lot of room for improvement to get back to this idea of Dar Al-Arqam; to get back to the idea of a refuge for people as they embrace Islam.

Social Redemption

Just because like people were fleeing from negative norm in the Arabian Peninsula in the sixth century to Islam, there are people embracing Islam today, not only seeking other-worldly redemption, not only seeking theological truth, but also seeking social redemption and seeking social safety. So, as they come to the Muslim community they are going to look for a safe space.

Reflect for a moment on the idea the Companions could talk to the Prophet about whatever was going on in their life for better or for worse, and the way they met with that open prophetic heart.

Reflect for a moment upon the priority the Prophet put on new Muslims and the sensitivity that day brought with them.

In an authenticated narration, in different variances of it, Mother `A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said that the Prophet said to her: “O `A’ishah! Were your people not new to Islam, I would have rebuilt the Ka`bah on the foundation of Abraham.” (Al-Bukhari)

In other words, the Prophet knew that the Ka`bah was built on other than the exact foundation that Abraham (peace be upon him) had built it, and that if it wasn’t going to affect the sensibilities of the people of Makkah who were new to Islam, he would have put it back into its original foundation. So, think about it. For the Prophet (peace be upon him) the sensibilities of people that were new to Islam are a priority over the exact placing of the Ka`bah.

So what then does this say about us if we were to say: ‘well, you know we really want to make a safe space for converts in our community, but it would disrupt the standard of religiosity’? As it were we’ve established our community and it would disrupt the kind of norm that we have in our community. So, converts are going to have to find another kind of comfort from whatever going on.

I think that we can do better; we can revisit this idea and make our community spaces safe spaces for people as they are new to Islam, as they are fleeing from whatever they are fleeing from to Islam. And whether this be by way of conversion to Islam or by way of recommitment to Islam or revisiting Islam, we have a lot of room for improvement in terms of making sure that our communities are safe spaces.

We ask Allah to give us success to be with what is pleasing to Him in that regard and enable us to bring about more safe spaces in our community.

Watch Sheikh Usama Canon’s talk here…

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Categories
Ethics & Values New Muslims

New Muslims Searching for Inner Peace (1)

Part 2

Becoming Muslim is the biggest decision; the most complicated decision, and you’ve done that.

Becoming Muslim is the biggest decision; the most complicated decision, and you’ve done that.

In this series of videos, we are going to be talking about how someone who just accepted Islam can maintain that sense of inner peace and deepen it.

The first thing that I want to do though, before we go into the details about how to do that, is to look at some of the definitions that we currently use and some of the conceptions that we have, as some of them are wrong, and some of them are correct.

And it is important that we go through that first of all before visiting the topic of inner peace.

One of the things that I see sometimes is that some of the people coming into Islam are treated like they know nothing, like they are not able to make up their own mind or decision about something.

And it’s not just the society that treats them like that, but they treat themselves like that. The metaphor that I am going to use, which is quite accurate in my opinion, is of going to a country where you don’t know the language and you don’t have a map, and so what do you do?

Now it might feel daunting at first, but you have to remember OK you don’t have the two skills of map or language, but you’ve got other skills. You can communicate through sign language, you’ve got money, you’ve got other skills to help you make decisions.

And as someone who has accepted Islam, you have just proven to yourself first and foremost, and to every other Muslim, that you are capable of making the single most important decision in life, which is to submit to Allah (Exalted is He) to return to your Creator, to acknowledge that He created you and that He has governance and dominance and dominion over you.

Trust Yourself

That’s the most important decision, and so if you can make that decision you should trust yourself to be able to make smaller finer decisions, decisions that are not as big. When you become Muslim, that’s the biggest thing, then after you take small steps here or there, but becoming Muslim is the biggest decision and the most complicated decision, and you’ve done that.

So you have to trust yourself, and we have to trust that you know how to do that, because you’ve proven it. Someone who is born into Islam does not prove that, they don’t have the opportunity to prove that they can make that decision. They have other opportunities but not that opportunity, whereas you’ve had the opportunity and you have proven it to yourself and to us.

So use your ability to make good decisions, to see right from wrong when you are presented with facts, when you are presented with data. Now you came across Islam, you did not know about it before, it was knowledge that you did not know about before you came to know it, and once you enter into Islam, you will be presented with knowledge that you did not know before, and you will use, or you are to use, exactly the same mind, the same IQ, the same processes that you were able with those processes to get to the best decision in life.

So don’t feel helpless, and don’t let anyone else make you feel helpless as well. Feeling helpless is the opposite of inner peace… If you don’t know up from down, right from left how are you going to get inner peace?

Inner peace there is a really tangible aspect to it… You are a Muslim, maybe you’ve been a Muslim for a month, maybe just a week maybe two days, maybe three years, maybe you’ve been a Muslim since birth, it doesn’t matter. Even as a graduate of Shari`ah (Islamic Law) myself, there is still knowledge that I am still to acquire, there are things that I don’t know about. Even when people are specialized in sub-topics, and sub-topics within those sub-topics, i.e. very specialized, they have to go to someone else another specialist to look into other topics.

And so you will always find … Allah says in the Qur’an:

Above everyone with knowledge is someone with more knowledge. (Yusuf 12:76)

For every person with knowledge is someone with more knowledge and in Surat Al-Kahf 18 (the Chapter of the Cave) which we read every Friday, Allah narrates to us and tells us the story of what happened with Prophet Musa (Moses, peace be upon him). He gives a Khutbah (sermon) and a man comes afterwards and asks: who is the most knowledgeable man on earth? And Prophet Musa deducts that since he is a prophet and revelation is revealed to him, that he must be the most knowledgeable man, so he replies to the man saying: ‘I am’.

Because of this, Allah makes him go on a journey, the strangest of journeys, to meet the most peculiar of men, just to teach him that for everyone with knowledge there is someone with more knowledge.

So actually it’s a good thing that you realize that you don’t know everything. This is a prophetic attribute to know that you do not know everything. You will come across people who will want to tell you what to do, some of them will be well-intentioned and they will know what they are talking about. Some of them will be well-intentioned, but they don’t know what they are talking about. And it’s up to you to use the same mechanisms of your mind to make the decisions in the same way that you were able to make the biggest decision which was to enter Islam.

And remember how you did that. It was not just with your mind, you asked God to guide you. You asked Allah to guide you, because you realized that this was something of vital importance and you asked Allah to help you. And as a Muslim now, ask Allah to guide you to those people who can guide you. Ask Allah to guide you to the decisions, to the knowledge, to the facts and to be able to make you perceive them accurately.

This is a path. You will change your mind. You will be presented with data and you will make a decision, and then the day after tomorrow or two years from now you might change your mind. That’s OK, as long as you are following a valid opinion. It’s OK to change your mind. Even if you have two valid opinions that are completely and utterly mutually exclusive, it’s either this or that, follow one of them it’s OK. And if you flip to the other later on because of new evidence, that’s OK as well. That’s OK; in fact the scholars themselves do this. That’s OK, that’s a sign that you are progressing, that you are learning.

Inner Peace is Being in Harmony with the People around You

Sometimes when people accept Islam, always this happens, society embraces them 99% of the time. Whenever someone finds out ’O look someone just accepted Islam’, they embrace them, they welcome them, they make them feel really at home. And the person who has just accepted Islam gets a very joyous reaction to that, being accepted, being loved is very joyous. Two or three weeks pass, and they are on seventh heaven, they are on top of the moon.

And then, you know, maybe two months pass and life catches up with the Muslim community, the majority of them, they have to take care of their family, their kids, work, business, parents, extended family… etc. and then all of a sudden, bit by bit, the person who accepted Islam and thought life is always going to be like this, I now will no longer be without any one, I’m going to have so much support, all of a sudden begins to feel like they are a little left out, and they begin to feel lonely.

And this is when it is important to remember you are never alone. Allah is always with you, always with you, you are never ever alone. There are prophets, like Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham), who for the majority of his life no one followed him, no one believed in him except for his wife, and one man who became Prophet Lut. Noah, all those on earth did not believe in him, except those who came onto the ark, but did he feel lonely?

No, because he knew that Allah is always there. You can communicate with Allah, you can make du`aa, you can supplicate to Him, in any language, at any time. Always realize that you are never, ever alone.

I hope to see you in the next video In-Shaa’-Allah.

As-Salamo Alaikum wa rahmatul-Allahi wa barakatuh

Watch the talk by brother Abdel Rahman Mussa…

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Source: onislam.net.

 

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Categories
Ethics & Values New Muslims

New Muslims Searching for Inner Peace (Part 2)

 

Part 1

So why go to anyone else when we can go to Allah?

Everyone goes through periods when they spend more time with people, and then afterwards the ‘crutch’ is removed, and they feel lonely.

The first weeks and months of a new Muslim after the Shahadah are usually an important, and sometimes difficult, transition phase with many things to learn and many issues to understand and adapt to.

With this very steep learning curve, it is often quite a challenge to fit all the pieces together in such a short time, which can lead to isolation and loneliness.

What should New Muslims do when they feel lonely?

How can they get rid of loneliness and make their transition to Islam easier and more sustainable?

Why should a believer never feel lonely in the first place?

And how do Allah’s Names remind us that He is always with us?

Here’s brother AbdelRahman Mussa’s answers to these and other questions…

In the last video, I ended with a reminder that when you are alone, you’re not alone, that Allah (Exalted is He) is with you, and that in fact you are never alone.

I want to take that a little bit further and explain what I meant by it, and maybe suggest a different way of looking at loneliness, a completely different way, and how to in fact get over the feeling so it does not exist.

Everyone goes through periods when they spend more time with people, and then afterwards the ‘crutch’ is removed, and they feel lonely.

I’m calling that a ‘crutch’ because actually there is something else that needs to be maintained in order for that loneliness never ever even to show up in the first place.

Someone that accepted Islam, what happens is that all of a sudden people flock to them, usually. They go to the mosque, there is that ‘wow’ factor, there is the buzz factor for them, and for the local community as well, they are very proud and accepting of that brother or that sister.

And then with time, life catches up with those people that have spent most time with them, as well as the fact that the family of the person that has just embraced Islam usually they distance themselves a little bit more, problems start to occur … It need not be the case always, but this is on average what happens.

So what happens is that this person now who has been for three, four weeks the center of attention of the community, who has really enjoyed the brotherhood and the sisterhood of their new brothers and sisters, all of a sudden realizes as reality catches up with those people, that they are alone. And then these feelings of loneliness and what not start to kick in.

Now, what I’m going to suggest is that this feeling of loneliness don’t take it as a gage of how successful or unsuccessful you are in this life. Don’t take it as a gage of whether you’re secure or not, you have enough people to call if something goes wrong. Don’t take it as that, but instead take it as a gage of your closeness to Allah. Because the reality is whenever I feel lonely it’s because I have forgotten for a short while that Allah is with me wherever I am, and that’s where I’m suggesting that we look at differently.

If you feel alone, and the more lonely you feel, then the truth is the less aware you are of Allah being there with you, and safeguarding you and looking over your shoulder, so to speak. And so, this feeling of loneliness now, if we take of it as a gage of how close I am to Allah, or how far I am to Allah, the more lonely I feel then the further I am, and the weaker my relationship with Allah is, to the extent that many of the pious really look forward for waking up for Fajr, before the dawn prayer.

Why?

Because everyone is asleep. That is the time they can spend quality time with Allah alone. So they actually look forward to being alone because it doesn’t give them loneliness, it gives them intimacy with Allah, and we are never really alone.

The Prophet’s Advice to Ibn `Abbas

Now the Prophet (peace be upon him) had a very young companion with him or horse or donkey back, and his name is Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) and he said to him my son or my child, in sha’ Allah I will teach you some words. Ibn ‘Abbas was very eager and the Prophet, peace be upon him, he said:

“Be mindful of Allah and you will find that Allah is there with you. If you ask, then ask from Allah.”

This doesn’t mean that we are not to ask anyone else or do anything like that. What it does mean is that Allah is the Creator of the means, and so therefore when you go ask someone they are “the means”. Wouldn’t it make sense to ask the Creator of that means first so that He makes the means easy and accessible to you, and Allah gives you what it is you asked for without there being a need to go to the means?

So in either way, it makes sense to go to Allah first, and more importantly it builds that relationship that Allah is always there for you. And then later on in the same narration, the Prophet, peace be upon him, he says to this very young companion:

“Know if all of the world, both humans and the jinn (the spirits) were to unite to harm you in any way, they will not be able to unless it was written by Allah that this would happen, (i.e. unless it is was already preordained). And know that if all of mankind and all of the jinn – the spirits – were to unite in order to help you, they will not be able to help you unless it was pre-ordained, unless it was already written by Allah.”

So why go to anyone else when we can go to Allah?

Now he is saying this to a very young man, he is not saying that to someone who is about to lead an expedition or an army, a general or a statesman, or a man who is about to go and leave his country and leave his home and go to a territory that he is unaware of, no he is saying that to a young man. So this means this is applicable to everyone, and that everyone should nurture that relationship with Allah.

There is another hadith, a Hadith Qudsi, i.e. the Prophet, peace be upon him, is narrating what was inspired to him by Allah, but it is in the words of the Prophet himself. And when Allah says that all what He has asked from people is that which is obligatory, and they do that, and then Allah loves them. But then the servant or the slave will go a step further and they will do that which is not obligatory, that which is liked by Allah, but it is not obligatory. And then Allah loves them more, and they continue to do and nurture their relationship with Allah until Allah becomes that which they see with, that which they hear with, and that which they hold or strength with. In another words they are so aware of Allah, that all of their senses are tuned to Allah.

Do you think that someone who has all his senses tuned to Allah, all five of them, do you think someone like that is going to feel lonely?

Now yes they might be ‘alone’, i.e. without the company of other humans, but they will never feel lonely because they know that Allah is always watching.

Eat This Apple Where No one Can See You

I’m going to end with a story that I was told when I was a lot younger.

A father tests two of his children. He gives them each an apple and he says to them go eat this apple where no one can see you. So the first child runs and he goes underneath the bed and he begins to chew the apple and eat it. He bites into it and finishes it in no time.

The second child goes to the cupboard, and he is about to eat, but then he remembers so he runs into the garage and he goes under the car, and he is about to bite into the apple and then he realizes that Allah is watching him. And then he goes from place to place to place, and each time he is about to take a bite into the apple, he realizes that Allah is watching him. And so he goes back to his father and says I could not find anywhere where Allah will not be watching.

So many of the attributes that Allah has got to do with Ar-Raqeeb, that He is watching over us. Al-Sami`Al-Basir, the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the One Who provides sustenance, and so many names of Allah such that you never need to worry about being alone.

It’s not the case that the more people are with the safer you are. Only if Allah is with you that is the true gage of safety that is the true gage of happiness and love.

Jazakum Allah Khairan

Wassalamo `alaikum wa rahmatu Allah

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Source: onislam.net.

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