Tag: hijab women

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New Muslims Reflections

My Journey to Islam: A Worthy Struggle with the Hijab

New American Muslim sister, Lisa, shares her struggle with the hijab and how she converted to Islam.

struggle with the hijab

So, you feel like you’re in a battle; I’m trying to be Muslim, but I’m trying also to please my family.

I come from Michigan. I’m 31 years old, married. But I come from a Christian family, like most of us converts. My father’s side is Catholic, and my mother’s is very conservative Christian Baptist. So me converting was a very big deal for my entire family.

However my mother comes from a very large family as she was the one child out of six that may rebound and then she embraced Christianity. So she raised me quite differently. She raised me to be very open-minded, very liberal, politically and religiously. So, I embraced all her values and morals of thinking, but I never really embraced the way she thought about religion.

From a very young age I actually was very attached to Christianity, and on my own; nobody pushed me because my grandparents were already around pushing me into Christianity. But I just willingly entered into that religion. So I started going to young life and Christian camps; really trying to get involved in the religion as much as I could. I believe I was 15 years old when I went to Christian camps.

At Christian camps, you have amazing time but they have you staying up and have you claim Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and that exactly what I did. I did it but a kind of blindly as I was 15 years old. As such, you aren’t really researching as much as you should be, you are just following what people are telling you to believe. You don’t really question. I went ahead with that, but I had questions about my life.

I always had in my mind just what kind of what my mother would always be putting in my mind …for example, what about all the children who haven’t heard of the Gospel? Aren’t they going to Hell? Is that what they teach you? And so I’d be battling this; arguing within myself like… no I believe in Jesus, but my own mom is telling me something like how can anybody just tell you that a random person that they are going to Hell?!

And so I never really faced that question. Then after going to college and through Freshman year I met somebody who helped me exploring the world. I met some Muslim friends, some of them were from Morocco. A friend of mine was the grandson of the director of the American Language Center of Tangier, Morocco. And it seemed like there was an opportunity for teaching English there, he asked me “Do you want to go? And I said “yes, definitely.”

I went there, and, Alhamdulillah, I was able to live with that Moroccan family. So I did that and I was like, hey! I’d like to dress like you are dressing. Can I try that scarf! So, she gave me the scarf and I wore it. And I asked from where did you buy it? I want to buy one. So, for three months I’d wake up before Fajr. I had no idea what I was doing. I’d put my hijab and I didn’t know why, but I was just excited. It’s a new dress!

By time, I had found Morocco an awesome experience, but I never questioned anything I did. I spoke English, and they spoke Arabic. I started to learn a little Arabic, but we couldn’t communicate. So, it was just an awesome experience.

Back at Home

I came home. Back to my life, I graduated from college.  I worked at a bank. And here the irony comes in. Even though I lived in a Muslim country, I had no idea about Islam. And yes… I worked at a bank, and I was dealing with interest and basis, and something told me to quit.

Something within told me ‘this is not right”, and so I didn’t want to do it. Now I know what this thing was, but at the time I couldn’t explain it. I just knew I was not doing what I supposed to be doing. I was on the wrong path.

So, I’ve always wanted to be a photographer. I needed to be in a creative field. So, I quitted everything. I dropped everything. I moved to Florida. And I went to a photography school.

At the same time, I decided to join a project on town. So, I met tons of Muslim friends- one of them named Nadeen. She is an awesome friend. And at that time they asked me at photography school to do an assignment; a documentary on my choice.

So, I decided to do it on hijab. I lived in Morocco, and I had worn this for three months, and yet I still have no clue why they wear it. So I asked Nadden, “Can I please interview you?’ and she said “Absolutely.”

So we went ahead. I did an interview asking this question- just general questions I asked all the time: ‘why do you wear hijab?’ ‘Do people judge you? Is it hot?

These obviously were just ignorant questions because I had no idea what they were talking about. And so when she started speaking to me, she opened up my eye asking me: ‘you are a Christian, right? I said, ‘yes’.

She continued: ‘You know! It is in the Bible- specifically, in Corinthians chapter: 11, verse: 6, that a woman should wear a hijab. I said: ‘What? ‘Really?’

True Feminism

In that way she opened up my eyes, and it is one of the things I live about Islam; one of the beauties of Islam; such a feminist religion. And I grew up as the biggest feminist, fighting for women’s rights. And what of the things I learned is the rights Islam does give to women.  This is what I really loved about it

And so I started listening to her. Getting that other point of view  that you never thought of, you think that most of these women they don’t really have a career, they are just there for their husbands, and all the stereotypes that are always out there. They really are there. And she opened up my eyes as like: ‘Just look around! Look at the magazine aisles… nothing is sold without a  woman’s body being put next to it”. I remember her saying: “Can you even sell a pack of chips without having a naked woman next to it!” And I thought l “Oh My God! That is not feminism. That is oppression.”

I’ve been living in an oppressed society, and I without even knowing it. I asked myself: “why do we have to feel so self-conscious about our bodies all the time?

And so, I really started thinking about it. I went home. I looked for that verse of the Bible. And Wow! It was really there!

From there I got so interested, and I looked into the Qur’an and see what the Qur’an said about the hijab. And, surprisingly, when I read the Bible’s verse of the hijab it was actually very demeaning for women. I don’t know if many of you may read it. It says:

 “If it is a shameful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head.” (Corinthians chapter 11:6)

That seemed to me very demeaning way. But, on the other hand, the Qur’an talks how beautiful the woman is that she should be covered. And that’s why I just started looking at things differently.

So then I just was so interested I couldn’t get my hands of converting to Islam. So then I read many books. I read the Qur’an. I watched YouTube videos. Yusuf Estes is one of my favorites. I watched all his YouTube videos.

I did this for about three months. And at that time I knew I was going to become Muslim. But I felt I was not ready to take the Shahadah, but ready to put my hijab on. So I actually put the hijab on before I took my Shahadah.  And I didn’t put it full time. I traveled to New York and decided to put it on just because I felt comfortable to do so. And remember flying back . I remember going to class and I remember just being so nervous (crying).

And Alhamdulillah, I cut through it. You have to answer everybody’s question: “why are you wearing that?” “You came in and you were not wearing it.”

I know it’s minuscule now, but at that time it was so hard; I had to explain it to everybody, it took so much strength. But Alhamdulillah I’m so proud to wear my hijab now.

And then three months later, I kept researching and researching. And I found “yes! This is the real religion for me. I’m ready to do this”.

And I remember being alone. It was July 29th, 2011. It was the Friday before Ramadan. And I used to go to the mosque for Jum`ah (Friday) Prayer, but I was not yet a Muslim. But I remember sitting this day next to a lady and she said “I think you should convert before Ramadan starts. There’d be  so many blessings. So I thought more about it. I got my car and thought “yes. I guess this is what I want to do. I’m ready”.

So I went to the first woman I could find, and told her “I want to take my Shahadah”. And it was such a sense of peace that came over me when I took my Shahadah.

Since then it has been a journey, definitely a journey. I believe I-before taking the Shahadah- really was on the wrong path.

I wasn’t really praying. No one is there to guide you. You are trying to do things on your own, i.e. you don’t know how to pray, so you watch YouTube a video and try. You just do the best you can.

I’m supporting myself, living in an apartment alone; I even thought the fast began at sunrise not Fajr. So, you do things wrong but you do the best you can.

Me & My Hijab

My family, and particularly my Mom, took it very hard. And there was a kind or irony about it; she’d told me my whole life to be open-minded and to accept everybody, though it was so hard for her to accept this.

But though I has a very easy convert, comparing to other converts. My mom after a while-Alhamdulillah, accepted it. But she’d always say “why do you have to wear the hijab? Can’t you just take it off?”

So, I went through this struggle. Even if this (hijab) what let me to Islam, I’d take it for my Mom. I went home to Michigan, and I took it off. So, you feel like you’re in a battle; I’m trying to be Muslim, but I’m trying also to please my family. It was truly a struggle.

Now I’m on the right path, praying five times a day- Alhamdulillah. And I’m still learning.

And this is my story.

Watch Sister Liza tells of her touching journey to Islam in this video…

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FEATURED New Muslims

Why Do Muslim Women Cover Their Heads?

By Saulat Pervez

Islam’s code of modesty extends to all aspects of one’s life, including attire. b, the head-covering worn by Muslim women, is an outer manifestation of an inner commitment to worship God. But why actually do Muslim women cover their heads?

cover

More than a dress code, the hijab encompasses modest behaviors, manners and speech.

This brochure explores the different dimensions hijab brings to the lives of women and the responsibility men and women share in upholding modesty in society. Along the way, it debunks common stereotypes and celebrates the voices of women who practice hijab with pride!

One of the questions often asked by people is, “Why do Muslim women cover their heads?” The answer lies in understanding the essence of one’s existence as explained in Islam.

Act of Worship

Muslims believe that their true purpose in life is to worship God according to His instructions, as revealed in the Qur’an and through the teachings of Muhammad(peace be upon him), the final prophet of Islam.

Worship in Islam is a holistic concept which encourages God-consciousness in every facet of daily life, from charity and neighborliness to prayer and honest dealings in business. Modest clothing is an integral aspect of worship in Islam as well.

In the Qur’an, God says,

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms… (An-Nur 24:31)

When God revealed this verse, the female companions of the Prophet Muhammad promptly adopted these guidelines. In a similar spirit of obedience, Muslim women have maintained modest covering (hijab) ever since.

Hence, the primary motivation for covering/wearing the hijab is to obey God.

A Personal Journey

Wearing hijab is a personal and independent decision that comes from a sincere yearning to please God while appreciating the wisdom underlying His command. Many people mistakenly believe that women are forced to cover their heads/wear the hijab. This concept is not based on Islamic teachings as God says in the Qur’an, “Let there be no compulsion in religion” (Al-Baqarah 2:256).

Likewise, Prophet Muhammad never forced religion upon anyone. If a woman is being forced to cover, it is contrary to this clear Islamic principle and might be due to cultural or social pressure. According to Islam, a woman willfully chooses to commit to this act of worship.

Days of contemplation, an inevitable fear of consequences as well as reactions and, ultimately, plenty of courage weigh heavily in making the leap.

Katherine Bullock, a Canadian convert to Islam, stated, “For me, the lead up to the decision to wear hijab was more difficult than actually wearing it. I found that, praise be to God, although I did receive negative comments from people, I appreciated the feeling of modesty that wearing the hijab gave me.”

Further, many people make the error of thinking that the hijab is a definitive statement of a woman’s religiosity, as if it is a clear indicator of her spiritual commitment. While veiling is a reflection of one’s beliefs, the hijab simultaneously becomes a tangible reminder to the woman herself: to embody the modesty and dignity it represents and to carry one’s self in a way that pleases God. In that sense, the hijab symbolizes a journey of devotion rather than the end-result of piety.

“After I started wearing hijab,” continued Bullock, “I noticed that people would often behave more cautiously with me, like apologizing if they swore. I appreciated that. I feel that wearing hijab has given me an insight into a decent and upright lifestyle.”

Saba Baig, an American woman converted to Islam, stated, “Before I started wearing hijab my self-perception was rooted in other people’s perceptions of me. I dressed to elicit compliments, keep up with the latest trend, wearing the most desired brand name – which had very little to do with me, and more importantly, what God thought of me.

Before hijab I was in bondage to the surrounding society. After hijab, I became attached to God. With that connection to God came an enormous amount of freedom. Confidence and self-respect were just some of the benefits.”

Ambassadors of Faith

Generalizations and stereotypes about Islam and Muslims are rampant in today’s society and, by extension, in the minds of many people whose worldview is shaped by the media. Muslim women in hijab are frequently stigmatized; they are regarded on the one hand as oppressed and, on the other, as religious fanatics. Due to such misconceptions, unfortunately, the larger society fails to acknowledge and appreciate Muslim women’s courage in standing up to societal norms in their determination to preserve their modesty.

Hijab clearly identifies women as followers of Islam, which can have its disadvantages in a land where misinformation about the faith and its adherents abounds. For instance, some Muslim women are discriminated against in the workplace while others are emotionally abused through insensitive remarks. Yet, drawing on inner strength and resolve, Muslim women take these incidents in stride. Their love for God and commitment to modesty empower them in the face of challenges.

Indeed, Muslim women identify themselves with Mary who is commemorated for her piety and modesty. Aminah Assilmi, who converted to Islam in 1977, was once asked about going out in public without her hijab and she responded, “I cannot help but wonder if they would have ordered Mary, the mother of Jesus, to uncover her hair.”

“By focusing on what God wants from me, and thinks of me, I am no longer a prisoner of other people’s desires,” declared Baig. “Knowing that I am doing what God, my Creator, has ordained for me gives me a contentment and happiness like no other.”

Despite all the odds, Muslim women in hijab have managed to carve a niche for themselves while upholding their Islamic identities. They actively participate in their surroundings, be it as homemakers or professionals, on the sports field or in the artistic arena, in public service or in charitable activities. Conspicuous in their head-coverings, these women have become ambassadors of the Islamic faith.

Cover…Mutual Modesty

More than a dress code, the hijab encompasses modest behaviors, manners and speech. The inner humility as exhibited through etiquettes and morals completes the significance of the physical veil. However, contrary to popular belief, these characteristics are not limited to women alone.

God also commands men to maintain their modesty in the Qur’an:

Tell believing men to lower their glances and guard their private parts: that is purer for them. God is well aware of everything they do. (An-Nur 24:30)

In Islam, the responsibility falls on each gender to protect their own modesty and to control their own desires. Whether a woman dresses modestly or not, it is the obligation of each man to guard his own chastity.

While many people may think that hijab is worn primarily to restrain men’s illicit desires, this is another misconception. Indeed, it is not women’s duty to regulate the behavior of men. Men are accountable for their own conduct; they are equally required to be modest and to handle themselves responsibly in every sphere of their lives.

In reality, Muslim women cover/wear the hijab to seek the pleasure of God and to uphold Islam’s code of modesty. The majority of women who cover consider it a constant reminder that they do not adorn their bodies for men:

“Hijab forces someone to look past the external and focus on the internal. How many women do we know that feel they have to sexualize themselves to gain attention; why don’t we see as many men wearing short bottoms and tighter tops? Because we have always given men a pass on their looks, demanding from them success and intellect instead,” reflected Baig.

“Women however, are valued for their looks, their beauty. We have entire industries built upon making a woman feel that she isn’t pretty enough, or thin enough,” she added. “Hijab, on the other hand, takes one beyond the superficial. It elevates her in society by desexualizing her, and individuating her instead.”

Islam is a religion of moderation and balance; it does not expect women alone to uphold society’s morality and dignity.

Rather, Islam asks men and women to strive mutually to create a healthy social environment of practical values and morality. In short, the concept of modesty in Islam is holistic, and applies to both men and women. The ultimate goal is to please God and to maintain a wholesome and stable society:

…In God’s eyes, the most honored of you are the ones most mindful of Him: God is all knowing, all aware. (Al-Hujurat 49:13)

Islam clearly establishes that men and women are equal in front of God. At the same time, it does recognize that they are not identical. God created men and women with unique physiological and psychological attributes. In Islam, these differences are embraced as vital components to a healthy family and community structure with each individual contributing their own distinctive talents to society.

Hence, God’s rules apply to both genders, but in diverse ways. For example, men are also required to cover parts of their body out of modesty, but not in the same way as women. Similarly, men are prohibited from wearing silk clothing and gold ornaments whereas women have no such restrictions. Therefore, God has ordained different commands for men and women while encouraging both to be modest.

As more and more Muslim women embrace hijab, they renew their commitment to God through their appearance as they continue their lifelong spiritual journey. Unfortunately, such women often seem mysterious to those not acquainted with the religious significance of hijab.

Understanding the beliefs and lifestyle choices of Muslims, and the emphasis Islam places on modesty, eliminates the stereotypes associated with hijab. People of many different faiths and beliefs make up this patchwork world of ours. Muslims are an integral part of this diversity. It’s time we overcome our fears and bridge our distances. So, the next time you see a Muslim, stop and chat with them – and decide for yourself!

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Source: whyislam.org

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