Tag: Manners

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New Muslims Society

Muslims & Non-Muslim Feasts

Is a Muslim allowed to participate in non-Muslims feasts? On what conditions can a Muslim join non-Muslims during holiday seasons?

Non-Muslim Feasts

In determining the non-Muslim celebrations that can be attended by Muslims, several main criteria should serve as guidelines so as not to contradict the teachings of Islam. The criteria are as follows:

1- The event is not accompanied by ceremonies that are against the Islamic faith (aqidah).Feasts

The meaning of “against the Islamic faith (`aqidah)” is a thing, act, word or situation which if conducted will lead to tarnishing the faith (`aqidah) of Muslims.

For example:

– to include religious symbols such as the cross, installing lights, candles, Christmas tree and so forth;

– to sing religious songs;

– to put any religious markings on the forehead, or other markings onto parts of the body;

– to deliver speech or gestures in the form of a praise to the non-Muslim religion;

– to bow or conduct acts of honour to the religious ceremony of non-Muslims.

2- The event is not accompanied by acts against the Islamic law.

The meaning of “against the Islamic law” is a thing, act, word or situation which if conducted will contradict the Islamic teachings practiced by the Muslim community.

For example:

– Wearing red costumes like Santa Claus or other garments that reflect religion;

– Serving intoxicating food or beverages and the likes;

– Having sounds or ornaments like church bells, Christmas tree, temple or breaking of coconuts;

– Having ceremonies with elements of gaming, worship, cult, superstitions and the likes.

3- The event is not accompanied by “acts that contradict with moral and cultural development of Muslim society” in this country.

The meaning of “acts that contradict with moral and cultural development of Muslim society” is a thing, act, word or situation which if conducted will contradict the values and norms of the Muslim society of this country which adheres to the Islamic teachings based on Ahlu-S Sunnah Wal-Jamaah or the majority of Muslim scholars.

For example:

– Mixing freely without any limit or manners;

– Wearing conspicuous clothing;

– Singing songs that contain lyrics of obscenity and worship;

– Organizing programs such as beauty pageants, cock fighting and such.

4- The event is not accompanied by acts that can “stir the sensitivity of Muslim community”.

The meaning of “stir the sensitivity of Muslim community” is a thing, act, word or situation which if conducted will offend the feelings of Muslims about their beliefs and practices.

For Example:

– Speeches or songs in the form of non-Muslim religious propaganda;

– Speeches that insult the Muslims;

– Speeches that insult Islam;

– Presentations with the aim to ridicule the religious belief of Muslims.

The organizers and the public are asked to get the views of religious authorities before organizing or attending celebrations of non-Muslims.

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Source: islam.gov.my

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Categories
New Muslims Society

New Muslims and the Valentine’s Day Traps

Shannon Abulnasr

Valentine’s Day… the day of “love”! I’m not going to jump into the evolution of Valentine’s day to what it is today, nor the innovation it is to practice in Islam.

happy Valentine’s Day

Many become depressed because they still don’t know how to find a spouse, or to find one they are compatible with.

Valentine’s Day & Satan’s Tricks

Instead of a history lesson, or barking rules, I would rather give warnings to Muslims and new Muslims about the traps we can fall into, and how we should feel about the intended methods of expressing love in Islam.

New Muslims usually learn very quickly that in Islam love has a different approach than it did before accepting Islam. Since in Islam, we do not “date” and intermingle with the opposite sex, it can cause a new Muslim to feel lost in their “journey of love”.

While learning about the tricks of Shaytan (Satan), which are well hidden behind the mask of red roses, and boxes of chocolate, we can be more on guard and prevent ourselves from falling into such traps.

The “Single” New Muslim Traps

Single new Muslims, still having the lingering emotional attachment that comes with Valentine’s Day, can really play a number on them. Many become depressed because they still don’t know how to find a spouse, or to find one they are compatible with, leaving them to feel they will forever be alone. This is most prevalent amongst the new Muslim brothers, more so than the sisters.

I’ve had numerous new Muslim brothers telling me that they are fed up with their search for a spouse, and have considered looking for a non-Muslim spouse instead. This shows me that there is a big problem for new Muslim brothers when it comes to finding a mate.

Although they are permitted to marry from the People of the Book (Jews & Christians), the approach is what makes it difficult because they don’t want to approach marriage in the same regards a Muslim is required to do so. As a result, the brothers tend to resort back to their “pre-Islam” way of interacting with the opposite sex when they feel they can’t find a Muslim to marry– but not always of course.

Non-Muslims in the West will not agree to be in a relationship without touching and kissing, and even without intercourse. Many do not respect the sanctity of marriage and chastity in these days and times. It is difficult to find a non-Muslim in the West that would accept such a “cold” seeming relationship. This is a jihad for the new Muslim brothers.

So, what should they do to overcome these feelings during the time period leading up to and including Valentine’s Day that has engulfed the non-Muslim mindset?

How can they attempt a halal relationship that would lead to marriage with a non-Muslim, especially when there are obstacles like Valentine’s Day in their midst?

Valentine’s Day

Tricks of Satan are well hidden behind the mask of red roses, and boxes of chocolate

There is no cookie cutter answer that will suite everyone. I would suggest that they avoid trying to find a partner that would cause them distress in their religion in this regards. There are pious non-Muslims out there, but they are just really difficult to find these days.

It will be tough to get over such obstacles the first few years of being a Muslim, especially in regards to these sorts of holidays and feeling lonely, but it will fade over time, I promise. Just remember to pray to Allah regularly to help you find ease in overcoming the emotional attachment to such holidays. Sometimes being single is a blessing in disguise. Don’t lose hope!

The “In a Relationship” New Muslim Traps

Some new Muslims may actually still be in a relationship with a non-Muslim, or even a Muslim that they were dating from before they accepted Islam. It is complicated, especially when holidays that revolve around “love and intimacy” come around. It all boils down to avoiding haram situations.

We can’t even think about Valentine’s Day, when the bigger issue we face is that we are in a haram relationship to begin with. New Muslims in this situation are stuck in a state of limbo. They “love” their boyfriend/girlfriend, and don’t want to break up simply because they accepted a new religion. Some feel they should stay in it for the sake of da`wah too. So, what should they do?

No one will ever like to hear the typical advice for this situation, which I agree with, which is to end such relationships. More harm can come from staying in these relationships than leaving them. We need to worry more about pleasing Allah instead of people. If they truly care about your relationship with God, they will understand and accept, and if they don’t, then that is a clear indicator that they are not a good match for you in regards to protecting your religion.

You have to just put your trust in Allah, and pray for it to be easy on you.

It really isn’t worth all the sins that you would accumulate to stay in such relationships. It may in fact cause that person to have respect for you in the end, because they will see your dedication to being a good Muslim, and may cause them to be interested in learning more about Islam since they saw you do something so big for the sake of Allah!

Let’s be realistic, and face it… How many sins are you accumulating by staying in this relationship? If we review just the basics, you will have sins for: 1- touching, kissing, etc. 2- being alone without mahrams (husband or close male relative forbidden in marriage) 3- inappropriate speech between one another 4- lusting after the other 5- exposing `awrah (parts of the body that must be covered) 6- intercourse outside of marriage (be realistic, it is more likely than not… going to happen) 7- lying to others to hide it 8- repeating all the previous seven things daily. Is it really worth all that?

Satan is very active in relationships outside marriage, so remember what Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told us about how that when a man and a woman are together alone, the Satan is the third wheel.

For those born and raised in Islam, that are involved in such relationships, you are spreading the wrong impression about Islam and how the status of women is raised in Islam.  How can you honestly feel good about having a haram relationship with a woman outside of marriage?

Even if, and when they convert to Islam and learn all this, you can probably expect them to not have respect for you knowing that you were willing to do such a thing! More likely than not, once they learn this about Islam, they will leave you, so it would be all for nothing! Be responsible and give non-Muslims and new Muslims the correct image of Islam about love and marriage from the beginning, because you are not ‘helping’ anyone by doing this.

All of these things are considered cooperating in sin and transgression and disobedience to Allah, who tells us:

Help you one another in Al-Birr and Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is severe in punishment. (Al-Ma’idah 5:2)

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Source: aboutislam.net

 

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Articles of Faith New Muslims

The Masjid: Status and Etiquette of the House of Allah

By Dr. Marwan Ibrahim Al-Kaysi

The masjid is where Muslims should pray five times every day, where they seek refuge from the troubles of this world, from its everlasting daily demands, its complications and its vanities.

Design

1- A mosque should be built in every residential district.

2- The design of the masjid should be characterized by simplicity, as must be its furnishings.

3- The masjid should be devoid of any lavish kind of ornamentation, representation of anything, pictures or images.

4- Extravagance in spending large sums of money to build luxurious mosques should be avoided.

5- Members of the Muslim society should neither vie with one another about the virtues or beauties of any particular mosque nor compete in building ostentatious mosques.

6- Attaching pieces of gold or silver to any part of the masjid or its furnishings is forbidden.

7- The carpets and walls of the mosque should be devoid of a multiplicity of colors for that distracts the concentration of the worshippers.

8- Writing on the walls of the mosque, inside or outside, including Qur’anic verses or God’s attributes, should be avoided. The names of the Prophet and the first four
rightly-guided caliphs likewise should not be written.

9- The minbar should not be placed in the middle of the mosque. Its height should not exceed three steps.

10- Every mosque should have two entrances, one for men and one for women.

11- Lavatories should be sited as far from the masjid as practicable, and from the fountains or basins for ritual ablution.

12- Raising flags inside the masjid is an innovation.

Cleanliness and Tidiness

The masjid deserves to be the cleanest place on earth. Therefore:

1- Muslims must be sure before entering the masjid that their body and clothes are clean and do not smell bad.

2- Filth must be removed from shoes and the shoes removed before entering the masjid.

3- Although it is not forbidden to eat anything in the masjid, it is not a place for taking meals and drinks.

4 Whoever brings in or causes dirt in the masjid has a duty to clean it up and remove it. It is not the duty solely of the mosque caretaker to keep the mosque clean and tidy; it is also the responsibility of every Muslim entering the masjid and seeing any uncleanliness, to remove this from the mosque.

5- The masjid should be sprayed or sprinkled with perfume to give a pleasant odour.
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The article is excerpted from the author’s book Morals and Manners in Islam (A Guide to Islamic Adab) published by The Islamic Foundation- 1986.

Dr. Marwan Al-Kaysi is Lecturer of Islamic Culture at Yarmouk University, Irbid, Jordan.

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Categories
New Muslims Society

Muslims and Merry Christmas Wishes

By Jamaal Diwan
merry christmas

Exchanging greetings , even gifts with non-Muslims out of companionship and manners is permissible.

Is it permissible for me to say “Merry Christmas” to my non-Muslim classmates, friends, family, neighbors, and others this holiday season?

(Please keep in mind that on the days of `Eid they always wish me a “Happy `Eid” and even buy me gifts.)

Allah says in the Qur’an, addressing how Muslims should deal with non-Muslims:

Allah does not forbid you from those who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes – from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly. Allah only forbids you from those who fight you because of religion and expel you from your homes and aid in your expulsion – (forbids) that you make allies of them. And whoever makes allies of them, then it is those who are the wrongdoers. (Al-Mumtahanah 60:8, 9)

There are also many places in the Qur’an and Sunnah that encourage the Muslim to be of the best of manners. One example of this is the ḥadith of the Prophet (peace be upon him) where he said: “The believers with the most complete faith are the ones with the best manners.” (Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Ibn Habban, and Al-Hakim)

The Prophet also said: “Verily, I was sent to perfect good character.” (Al-Bukhari)

That being said there are a couple of things to take into consideration here. The first is that there is no disagreement between the scholars regarding the impermissibility of celebrating Christmas. It is a religious holiday that is based on beliefs that are against Islam and it is not permissible for Muslims to celebrate it.

This is because it goes against the concept of protecting one’s deen (religion) and contradicts the teachings of the Prophet which limited Muslim religious holidays to the two `Eids. That does not mean that they cannot spend time with their non-Muslim family on such a day if there is a family get together but that is a different issue.

As to whether or not one can greet their non-Muslim family and friends with “Merry Christmas” there are two major opinions. The first says that it is impermissible and was held by scholars such as Ibn Al-Qayyim, Ibn Taymiyya, Ibn `Uthaymin, and others.

The second opinion is that it is permissible as long as the intention is to interact with them in the best way possible without supporting their belief.

What is meant by this is not that people are not allowed to believe what they want to believe. They are. What rather is meant by this is that the Muslim is not agreeing with their belief. This opinion was held by scholars like Yusuf Al-Qaraḍawi and Muṣṭafa Zarqa. The latter opinion also allows the exchanging of greeting cards on holidays like Christmas as long as the card is free from any sort of religious symbolism.

Al-Qaradawi in his fatwa specifically mentions  being aware of the opinion of Ibn Taymiyya, but that he does not agree with it based on the influence of the different times and  circumstances during Ibn Taymiyyah’s era.

Al-Qaradawi speculated that had Ibn Taymiyyah lived during the times in which we live and seen the importance of good relationships between Muslims and non-Muslims, that he would have changed his opinion. Regardless whether that would be the case or not,  it does show that Al-Qaradawi was acutely aware of Ibn Taymiyyah’s opinion when he gave his fatwa.

Social Sensitivity

The argument against saying “Merry Christmas” to one’s family, friends, neighbors, or co-workers is based on the concept that in doing so you are approving of their beliefs in some way. This is simply not the case, and saying “Merry Christmas” is nothing more than an act of good societal manners.

However, it should be noted that this is not the same as actually celebrating Christmas or other non-Muslim religious holidays. Celebrating these holidays is not allowed but exchanging greetings and even gifts with non-Muslims on them out of companionship and manners is permissible, as long as the gifts themselves are permissible. This is especially the case when those same friends and family greet and exchange gifts with you on the Muslim holidays.

In conclusion, in America, for example, we need to try and seek a balance between maintaining our identity and the purity of our beliefs while at the same time dealing with our greater society in the best way possible.

Therefore, I think the way Muslims in America should deal with this issue depends on their circumstances. An interesting way to understand this predicament is to look at how Jews in America deal with this same question. It seems that they have many of the same discussions that we have around this time of year.

In general there are a couple of things that we want to try and be aware of at the same time: we want to maintain our identity and belief, we want people to understand Islam as much as possible, we want to respect and appreciate others, we want to treat others in the best way possible, we don’t want to be socially awkward or insular. Different situations will require different responses. Those of us who have non-Muslim families have different situations than those of us who do not.

You could reply with a number of different answers, including: “Merry Christmas”, “Happy Holidays”, “As a Muslim I don’t celebrate Christmas”, or “Thank you.  I don’t celebrate Christmas, but merry Christmas to you.” The appropriate answer will depend on the person, the situation, one’s internal intentions, and the perceived intentions of the one they are speaking to.

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Source: Jamaaldiwan.com

Note: The answer here by Jamaal Diwan is based on the fatwas of Sheikhs Yusuf Al-Qaraḍawi and Muṣṭafa Al-Zarqa.

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Family New Muslims

Between Belief and Manners in Islam

By Dr. Ahmad Al Khalidi

Allah (Exalted be He) guides Muslims to the best of manners to purify them and keep them away from social and psychological complexities. Allah enjoins Muslims not to enter other people’s houses without their permission and welcoming, and if it is said to them go back; they should go back as it is purer for them. Men should lower their gaze and guard their chastity; as it is better for them, and they should not draw near any apparent or hidden vice. Muslim women should also lower their gaze and keep their chastity and keep themselves from prohibited men and women.

Between Belief and Manners in Islam

Allah guides Muslims to the best of manners to purify them and keep them away from social and psychological complexities.

Privacy of Homes

Respecting privacy of homes is a moral and legal conduct. Allah made home a dwelling for family life and comfort, not a common place for anybody to enter at any time; so the Qur’an enjoins Muslims not to enter other people’s homes without taking permission and agreement, and if it is said to them go back; they should go back as it is purer for them.

O ye who believe! enter not houses other than your own, until ye have asked permission and saluted those in them.

And if you do not find any one therein, do not enter them until permission has been given you. And if it is said to you” Go back,  then go back: it is purer for you. And Allah is knowing of what you do. (An-Nur 24:27-28)

However, if the houses are not inhabited such as public houses and one has interest therein, he can enter without permission. Allah knows  what you display and what you conceal.

There is no sin on you that you enter (without taking permission) houses uninhabited (not possessed by anybody), (when) you have  any interest in them. And Allah has knowledge of what you reveal and what you conceal. (An-Nur 24:29)

The Believing Man

Chastity of believing man is a part of ideal manners. Lowering the gaze on the part of men is considered a type of sublime good manners that decreases the chance of enticement and fascination. This manner makes the  society pure and protects its sanctity and dignity.

On the authority of Ibn Mas`ud that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

“O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him. (Al-Bukhaari and Muslim)

Six tips are suggested by productive Muslim.com to help young Muslims to lower their gaze: “1- Find good friends. 2- Carry a book. 3- Fight the second gaze. 4- Get married.5- Remember Allah and  6- Ask Allah (SWT) for help”.

Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is well-acquainted with what they do.

`Abdul Rahman, Jamal (2001:110) On the authority of Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) said,

I was riding behind the Prophet from Muzdalifah to Mina when a Bedwan was going side by side the Prophet with his beautiful daughter riding behind him. He said “I was looking at her, then the Prophet looked at me and turned my face away from her face, then I looked again and he turned my face until I did that for the third time without ending while the Prophet was saying “Talbiyah’ until he threw the stone of `Aqabah.” And on the authority of Ibn Khuzaimeh that the Prophet said to him “My brother’s son this is a day on which he who lowers his gaze, keeps his special parts and his tongue will be forgiven.

The Believing Woman

Chastity of believing woman honors her. Allah creates Man and knows what is harmful and what is useful for him; that’s why, He orders believing woman to be aware of her chastity and keep herself from prohibited men and women and forbids her from displaying her beauty and ornaments to prohibited people.

Allah wills the Muslim society to be free from immoral relation between man and woman. Lots of women suffer a lot in societies that ignore such divine guidance and moral etiquette. To cite Rahil Brightehard, (Bayan magazine)  who declared, in a forum held in London under the name of “The reality of woman in the west” which points out the statistics that show the dangers of coeducation and mixing males and females. She mentioned these results:

1-The percentage of pregnant adolescents at mixed British schools is 75%.

2- The  percentage of pregnant adolescents at non mixed British schools is 5%.

3- The percentage of pregnant adolescents at non mixed Islamic schools is zero %.”

These statistics also highlight the positive results of the Islamic education at school as well as paternal care and ethical guidance at home.

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Dr. Ahmad Muhammad Al khalidi is Researcher and translator, E L teacher and lecturer, an old member in Islam Presentation Committee (IPC), Kuwait.

 

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Categories
ABC's of Islam New Muslims

The Muslim’s Behavior on Fridays: Dos and Don’ts

By Marwan Ibrahim Al-Kaysi

The Muslim’s behavior on Fridays: dos and don’ts

1- Though Friday, according to Islam, is the best day on which the sun has ever risen, and the lord of days, it is not the Islamic Sabbath, because Sabbath does not exist in Islam.

2- A Muslim should bathe or purify himself with wudu’ as perfectly as possible before going to prayer. Though bathing is not obligatory, it has a more cleansing effect; though wudu’ is good, bathing is more excellent.

3- Best clothes should be worn and perfume applied, if this is available, or pleasant-smelling oil should be put on the hair.

4- A tooth stick or toothbrush should be used to ensure that the mouth is clean and has a pleasant odor. This is more important on Fridays before leaving for prayer than on other days.

5- Before leaving for prayer, nails should be cut and cleaned, and one should ensure that clothes are clean and beard and mustache tidy.

6- The Friday prayer in congregation is a necessary duty for every Muslim, with certain exceptions, e.g. children, women, invalids and those too ill to perform prayer.

7- If there is more than one mosque available, it is yet better to say the Friday prayer together at one mosque.

8- Going as early as possible to the mosque on Friday is recommended. Walking to the mosque, if this is possible, and not driving is also more worthy.

9- On entering the mosque, the rules of behavior in the mosque as discussed in Chapter 16, must be observed.

10- Care should be taken to avoid annoying others in the mosque; for example, squeezing between two men or stepping on others.

11- Most mosques on Fridays become full of worshippers. No individual has the right to make another get up and then move into his place. He should politely ask those present to make room for him.

12- While in the mosque, the worshipper must avoid any sitting position which could cause him to drowse, to sleep, or which would invalidate his wudu’.

13- If a worshipper should find himself dozing, he should try to change his place. In this case, he should change places with his neighbor.

14- A worshipper should avoid taking any position that would uncover his body between the navel and the knees.

15- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) forbade worshippers to sit together in a circle in the mosque before Friday prayer, because this hinders straight rows, and reduces the available space.

16- Facing the imam while he is giving khutbah from the minbar (pulpit) is polite conduct.

17- When the imam asks God’s blessings, etc. for the Muslims, he should not raise his hands in an attitude of supplication.

18- When the Friday prayer is finished worshippers should not rush to leave the mosque, or crowd the exits.

19- As mentioned above, a Sabbath does not exist in Islam, therefore, it is not required that a Muslim abandons working during the whole of Friday. What is required, is to stop working during prayer time.

20- A worshipper should listen to the imam as soon as he starts his khutbah, and keep silent until he finishes. To attend prayer with a frivolous attitude is against the aim of the Friday prayer.

21- It is undesirable to fast on Friday alone; to fast on Friday, however, in conjunction with Thursday or Saturday is allowed.

22- It is neither necessary nor required to abandon travel on Friday.

23- Friday is a good occasion to remember the Prophet (peace be on him) and invoke a blessing on him by saying: Allahuma Salli `ala Muhammad wa ‘ala ali Muhammad (O God, bless Muhammad and Muhammad’s family).

24- Reading Surat Al-Kahf (The 8th chapter of the Qur’an) every Friday is recommended.

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The article is excerpted from the author’s book Morals and Manners in Islam (A Guide to Islamic Adab) published by The Islamic Foundation- 1986.

Dr. Marwan Al-Kaysi is Lecturer of Islamic Culture at Yarmouk University, Irbid, Jordan.

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