Tag: Valentine’s Day

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New Muslims Society

What Do Muslims Celebrate?

celebrations in Islam

The first day of the month following Ramadan is `Eid al-Fitr (`Eid of Breaking the Fast). This is the celebration of fast-breaking.

In Islam, celebration is a form of thanking Allah, the One True God. Celebration, in Islam, is merry-making, going out to parties, visiting and meeting friends and relatives and having clean fun, and also a form of physical and spiritual purification.

Islamic celebrations include taking a bath, putting on clean or new clothes, wearing perfume and going to the mosque or a place of congregation for salah (prayer), a form of prescribed prayers. The Islamic celebration of `Eid is also a day when children and adults may get new clothes and gifts.

The dates and days of celebration are set according to the Islamic calendar.

Islamic Calendar

The Islamic calendar consists of twelve lunar-based months. A new month begins with the sighting of the new crescent. Since lunar months are 29 or 30 days long, a year has 354 or 355 days, 10 or 11 days shorter than the solar year.

Another characteristic of Islamic months is that the number of days of a month is not fixed. For example, the month of Ramadan may be 30 days in one year and 29 days in another year.

In this age of advanced astronomy and mathematics it is possible to calculate the first of the month years ahead of time, but conservative interpretations of the sayings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) require Muslims to see the new crescent physically before announcing the first day of the month. Hence, there is uncertainty in fixing the date.

In practice, Muslims look toward the western horizon on the 29th of the month, immediately after sunset for the new crescent. If the crescent is not sighted they complete 30 days of the month, then start the new month. If the moon is sighted on the 29th , the new month has already begun with the sunset.

The twelve months of the Islamic calendar are Muharram, Safar, Rabi` Awwal, Rabi` Thani, Jumada Awwal, Jumada Thani, Rajab, Sha`ban, Ramadan, Shawwal, Dhul-Qi`dah and Dhul-Hijjah.

The moon by itself is not holy or sacred in Islam. The moon, as a symbol which appears on flags and minarets, may have been an adaptation from the Romans or the Turks in the early period of Islam but after the period of the Companions of the Prophet Muhammad. Islamic teachings do not place any significance on the moon, sun or other heavenly objects except as creations and signs of Allah.

Prescribed Salah (Prayers) and the Time Table

The prayer is a form of worship, a celebration of the holiness, praise and glorification of Allah and the renewal of dedication of oneself to Him. Every adult Muslim is required to perform prayer five times a day. For the preparation of the prayer time table, the position of the sun in relation to a location on the earth are used, that is, sunrise, meridian and sunset.

Before sunrise but after dawn, which commences 80 to 90 minutes before sunrise, is the time for the morning or Fajr prayer. Immediately after the meridian is the beginning of early afternoon or Zhuhr Prayer (Noon Prayer), which lasts midway to sunset. From midway to sunset till shortly before sunset is the mid-afternoon or `Asr Prayer time.

Immediately after sunset is the Maghrib Prayer (Sunset Prayer) time which lasts until the disappearance of twilight (approximately an hour). After Maghrib until dawn is the `Isha’ or (Night Prayer) time. Each of the prayers lasts five to ten minutes, but it must be done within its own time slot. All Muslims who have attained puberty are required to perform prescribed prayers at the proper time. A brief washing is required as a preparation for the prayers.

The following weekly and annual celebrations are mandated in Islamic textual sources, that is, the Qur’an and the Hadith.

Yawm Al-Jumu`ah

The literal meaning of these two words is ’the day of congregation‘, which is Friday. Muslims gather in the masjid (mosque) for a khutbah (sermon or speech) followed by Jumu`ah (Friday Prayer) led by an Imam. After the prayer, people meet each other in the masjid and may visit relatives and friends.

In Islam there is no Sabbath, therefore, there is no mandatory closing of businesses on Friday except for the duration of congregational services. However, in a majority of Muslim countries, Friday is the weekly holiday, sometimes combined with Thursday or Saturday. In the West, Muslims take a couple of hours from their jobs or businesses to go to the mosque on Friday. The Friday Prayer, held in the early afternoon, lasts less than an hour in general.

In large work places where many Muslims are employed, Muslims use a room and prepare it for the Jumu`ah (Friday Prayer). In some places a community center room is rented for a couple of hours on Friday for holding the congregation. Since, a part of the prayer requires prostrating and sitting on the floor, it is covered with clean sheets or rugs.

Ramadan: The Month of Fasting

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar and is known as the month of fasting. During Ramadan Muslims get up before dawn, 2-3 hours before sunrise, and eat a pre-dawn meal. There is no eating, drinking, or sexual activity between dawn and sunset. In addition, Muslims must implement the moral code of Islam very strictly; the violation thereof nullifies their fast. During the night Muslims eat, drink (intoxicants are forbidden) and carry on normally.

Laylat Al-Qadr

The literal meaning is ‘the Night of Decree’, “the Night of Measure’ or ‘the Night of Value’, sometimes also translated as ‘the Night of Power’. The worship and works of this night carry more value than the worship and works of one thousand months. This is the night when angels descend with the decree of Allah.

This night may be any of the odd nights of Ramadan during the last ten days, meaning, Laylat al-Qadr may be the 21st or 23rd or 25th or 27th or 29th night of Ramadan. Some Muslims celebrate only on the 27th night and by doing so they may be missing the real Laylat al-Qadr.

During these nights, Muslims stay awake all night reading and studying the Qur’an, listening to religious addresses and performing salah. They go home for the pre-dawn meal to prepare for the fast; naturally, they need to sleep the next day.

I`tikaf

   1. Some Muslims take time off from their work for the entire last ten days of Ramadan and stay in the masjid, day and night, until the end of Ramadan. This is called I`tikaf (spiritual retreat in the mosque or isolation from the worldly affairs). Those who are in I`tikaf are allowed to go out for necessities only, such as for food and to use the bathroom and shower, if not found within the mosque area.

`Eid Al-Fitr

The first day of the month following Ramadan is `Eid al-Fitr (`Eid of Breaking the Fast). This is the celebration of fast-breaking. Muslims watch the western horizon immediately after sunset on the 29th day of Ramadan for the crescent. If the crescent is sighted, it is the first day of the new month and beginning of `Eid day. If the crescent is not sighted within ½ an hour after sunset on the 29th day of Ramadan the Muslims complete 30 days of fasting. Either way, the 1st of Shawwal, the 10th month of the Islamic lunar calendar is ‘Eid al-Fitr.

On `Eid day, Muslims gather in a larger facility than the neighborhood masjid and join in Salat Al-‘Eid which is composed of salah followed by an address by the Imam (leader). This is a major holiday for the Muslims. On this day, they visit many relatives and friends and give gifts to the children.

`Eid is, first, a day of thanks to Allah, and next, a gathering of families and friends. All financially able Muslims are required to give Sadaqat Al-Fitr, a form of charity, on behalf of each and every person of the family, including newborns, to the poor and needy during the Ramadan but before the `Eid Prayers.

`Eid Al-Adha

This is the celebration of sacrifice which comes two months and ten days after `Eid Al-Fitr. Muslims celebrate the sacrifice of the lamb in place of Ishmael (Isma`il) by his father, Abraham. On this day, after Salat Al-`Eid (the prescribed `Eid Prayers), Muslims sacrifice an animal: a ram, goat, sheep, cow or camel. The meat is divided into three parts: one part is distributed among the poor and needy, one part is distributed among relatives and friends and one part is used by the family.

This is also a major holiday for Muslims to visit each other and give gifts to the children. `Eid Al-Adha is celebrated on the 10th of Dhul-Hijjah, the 12th month of the Islamic lunar calendar, and again depends upon the crescent sighting for the first of the month. For those people who have gone to Makkah for Hajj (the pilgrimage), staying in the Plain of Arafat on the 9th of Dhul-Hijjah is the most important event. However, for those not performing Hajj, `Eid Al-Adha is the 10th of Dhul-Hijjah and one of the two most important celebrations of the year.

In the Arabian Peninsula the calendar follows the local crescent sighting criterion, whereas in the U.S., the local crescent sighting is used for the determination of dates. `Eid Al-Adha may be celebrated for four days from the 10th to the 13th of Dhul-Hijjah.

Cultural Celebrations

There are many other occasions which Muslims celebrate that are developments of local cultures and traditions. Some celebrations are more widespread than others. However, these are innovations in Islam and have no foundation in the Qur’an, the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) or practices of the Sahabah (the Companions of the Prophet).

These innovative celebrations are not found in the early generations of Muslims. In fact, Prophet Muhammad has declared all innovations (in the religion of Islam) to be bid`ah (heresy) and he declared that all bid`ah lead to dalalah (misguidance) and all dalalah lead to the hell-fire.

The following celebrations are religious/cultural innovations which are discouraged by the informed Islamic scholars.

Mawlid An-Nabi

Mawlid An-Nabi (Prophet Muhammad’s Birthday) is the most common innovative celebration in the Muslim world. It is supposed to celebrate the ‘birthday’ of the Prophet Muhammad. However, there is no authentic record that the Prophet or his Companions celebrated his birthday. Besides, there is no verifiable proof of Prophet’s date of birth. It is an innovation of later times, reported to have been introduced by the Fatimids in Egypt, a very corrupt Shiite sub-sect.

Laylat Al-Isra’ & Al-Mi`raj

A verse in the Qur’an, “Glorified be He Who carried His servant by night from the Inviolable Place of Worship to the Far distant place of worship the neighborhood whereof We have blessed, that We might show him of Our tokens! Lo! He, only He, is the Hearer, the Seer” (Al-Isra’ 17:1), states that the Messenger of Allah was taken one night to Jerusalem and brought back to Makkah.

In addition, authentic traditions add that he was led to the Heavens to visit the signs of Allah. However, there is no authentic day or date of this event recorded nor did the Prophet or his Companions ever celebrate this night. Despite the lack of evidence, many Muslims continue to celebrate it.

Laylat An-Nisf min Sha`ban

Laylat An-Nisf min Sha`ban (The Middle Night of Sha`ban), which is called also Shab-e-Barat, is a celebration which takes place on the 15th night of the 8th month of the Islamic lunar calendar, Sha`ban, but has no foundation in the Qur’an or teachings of the Prophet.

Unpermitted Celebrations

Some Sunni Muslims celebrate such days for many assumed saintly persons and Shiite celebrate such days for their assumed Imams. There is no evidence to permit such celebrations in Islam. There are related celebrations held annually at the graves and mausoleums of reputedly virtuous m    en (assumed saints or awlia’-Allah) of the past era. Such celebrations on or off the grave sites are not permitted according to the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad.

National Celebrations and Holidays

Celebrations such as of Independence Day, Republic Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving Day and others are rooted in the secular lives of nations. Such celebrations are not mandated in Islam and have no Islamic significance.

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Source: iiie.net

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New Muslims Society

New Muslims and the Valentine’s Day Traps

Shannon Abulnasr

Valentine’s Day… the day of “love”! I’m not going to jump into the evolution of Valentine’s day to what it is today, nor the innovation it is to practice in Islam.

happy Valentine’s Day

Many become depressed because they still don’t know how to find a spouse, or to find one they are compatible with.

Valentine’s Day & Satan’s Tricks

Instead of a history lesson, or barking rules, I would rather give warnings to Muslims and new Muslims about the traps we can fall into, and how we should feel about the intended methods of expressing love in Islam.

New Muslims usually learn very quickly that in Islam love has a different approach than it did before accepting Islam. Since in Islam, we do not “date” and intermingle with the opposite sex, it can cause a new Muslim to feel lost in their “journey of love”.

While learning about the tricks of Shaytan (Satan), which are well hidden behind the mask of red roses, and boxes of chocolate, we can be more on guard and prevent ourselves from falling into such traps.

The “Single” New Muslim Traps

Single new Muslims, still having the lingering emotional attachment that comes with Valentine’s Day, can really play a number on them. Many become depressed because they still don’t know how to find a spouse, or to find one they are compatible with, leaving them to feel they will forever be alone. This is most prevalent amongst the new Muslim brothers, more so than the sisters.

I’ve had numerous new Muslim brothers telling me that they are fed up with their search for a spouse, and have considered looking for a non-Muslim spouse instead. This shows me that there is a big problem for new Muslim brothers when it comes to finding a mate.

Although they are permitted to marry from the People of the Book (Jews & Christians), the approach is what makes it difficult because they don’t want to approach marriage in the same regards a Muslim is required to do so. As a result, the brothers tend to resort back to their “pre-Islam” way of interacting with the opposite sex when they feel they can’t find a Muslim to marry– but not always of course.

Non-Muslims in the West will not agree to be in a relationship without touching and kissing, and even without intercourse. Many do not respect the sanctity of marriage and chastity in these days and times. It is difficult to find a non-Muslim in the West that would accept such a “cold” seeming relationship. This is a jihad for the new Muslim brothers.

So, what should they do to overcome these feelings during the time period leading up to and including Valentine’s Day that has engulfed the non-Muslim mindset?

How can they attempt a halal relationship that would lead to marriage with a non-Muslim, especially when there are obstacles like Valentine’s Day in their midst?

Valentine’s Day

Tricks of Satan are well hidden behind the mask of red roses, and boxes of chocolate

There is no cookie cutter answer that will suite everyone. I would suggest that they avoid trying to find a partner that would cause them distress in their religion in this regards. There are pious non-Muslims out there, but they are just really difficult to find these days.

It will be tough to get over such obstacles the first few years of being a Muslim, especially in regards to these sorts of holidays and feeling lonely, but it will fade over time, I promise. Just remember to pray to Allah regularly to help you find ease in overcoming the emotional attachment to such holidays. Sometimes being single is a blessing in disguise. Don’t lose hope!

The “In a Relationship” New Muslim Traps

Some new Muslims may actually still be in a relationship with a non-Muslim, or even a Muslim that they were dating from before they accepted Islam. It is complicated, especially when holidays that revolve around “love and intimacy” come around. It all boils down to avoiding haram situations.

We can’t even think about Valentine’s Day, when the bigger issue we face is that we are in a haram relationship to begin with. New Muslims in this situation are stuck in a state of limbo. They “love” their boyfriend/girlfriend, and don’t want to break up simply because they accepted a new religion. Some feel they should stay in it for the sake of da`wah too. So, what should they do?

No one will ever like to hear the typical advice for this situation, which I agree with, which is to end such relationships. More harm can come from staying in these relationships than leaving them. We need to worry more about pleasing Allah instead of people. If they truly care about your relationship with God, they will understand and accept, and if they don’t, then that is a clear indicator that they are not a good match for you in regards to protecting your religion.

You have to just put your trust in Allah, and pray for it to be easy on you.

It really isn’t worth all the sins that you would accumulate to stay in such relationships. It may in fact cause that person to have respect for you in the end, because they will see your dedication to being a good Muslim, and may cause them to be interested in learning more about Islam since they saw you do something so big for the sake of Allah!

Let’s be realistic, and face it… How many sins are you accumulating by staying in this relationship? If we review just the basics, you will have sins for: 1- touching, kissing, etc. 2- being alone without mahrams (husband or close male relative forbidden in marriage) 3- inappropriate speech between one another 4- lusting after the other 5- exposing `awrah (parts of the body that must be covered) 6- intercourse outside of marriage (be realistic, it is more likely than not… going to happen) 7- lying to others to hide it 8- repeating all the previous seven things daily. Is it really worth all that?

Satan is very active in relationships outside marriage, so remember what Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told us about how that when a man and a woman are together alone, the Satan is the third wheel.

For those born and raised in Islam, that are involved in such relationships, you are spreading the wrong impression about Islam and how the status of women is raised in Islam.  How can you honestly feel good about having a haram relationship with a woman outside of marriage?

Even if, and when they convert to Islam and learn all this, you can probably expect them to not have respect for you knowing that you were willing to do such a thing! More likely than not, once they learn this about Islam, they will leave you, so it would be all for nothing! Be responsible and give non-Muslims and new Muslims the correct image of Islam about love and marriage from the beginning, because you are not ‘helping’ anyone by doing this.

All of these things are considered cooperating in sin and transgression and disobedience to Allah, who tells us:

Help you one another in Al-Birr and Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is severe in punishment. (Al-Ma’idah 5:2)

_________________________

Source: aboutislam.net

 

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New Muslims Worldview

Valentine’s Day: Roots & Islamic View

As Muslims, we are required to love one another and to wish and inculcate love among people regardless of their color, race, religion, or identity. However, this does not mean dissolving our identity or blindly copying and imitating others’ traditions and practices. so, what is the origin of some of these festivals, i.e. Valentine’s Day, what does Islam say about this?

Valentine's Day

The Romans used to celebrate this event in mid-February each year with a big festival.

Origin of Valentine’s Day (Festival of Love)

The Festival of Love was one of the festivals of the pagan Romans, when paganism was the prevalent religion of the Romans more than seventeen centuries ago. In the pagan Roman concept, it was an expression of “spiritual love”.

There were myths associated with this pagan festival of the Romans, which persisted with their Christian heirs. Among the most famous of these myths was the Roman belief that Romulus, the founder of Rome, was suckled one day by a she-wolf, which gave him strength and wisdom.

The Romans used to celebrate this event in mid-February each year with a big festival.

One of the rituals of this festival was the sacrifice of a dog and a goat. Two strong and muscular youths would daub the blood of the dog and goat onto their bodies, then they would wash the blood away with milk. After that there would be a great parade, with these two youths at its head, which would go about the streets. The two youths would have pieces of leather with which they would hit everyone who crossed their path. The Roman women would welcome these blows, because they believed that they could prevent or cure infertility.

Between Saint Valentine and This Festival

Saint Valentine is a name which is given to two of the ancient “martyrs” of the Christian Church. It was said that there were two of them, or that there was only one, who died in Rome as the result of the persecution of the Gothic leader Claudius, c. 296 CE. In 350 CE, a church was built in Rome on the site of the place where he died, to perpetuate his memory.

When the Romans embraced Christianity, they continued to celebrate the Feast of Love mentioned above, but they changed it from the pagan concept of “spiritual love” to another concept known as the “martyrs of love”, represented by Saint Valentine who had advocated love and peace, for which cause he was martyred, according to their claims. It was also called the Feast of Lovers, and Saint Valentine was considered to be the patron saint of lovers.

One of their false beliefs connected with this festival was that the names of girls who had reached marriageable age would be written on small rolls of paper and placed in a dish on a table. Then the young men who wanted to get married would be called, and each of them would pick a piece of paper. He would put himself at the service of the girl whose name he had drawn for one year, so that they could find out about one another. Then they would get married, or they would repeat the same process again on the day of the festival in the following year.

The Christian clergy reacted against this tradition, which they considered to have a corrupting influence on the morals of young men and women. It was abolished in Italy, where it had been well-known, then it was revived in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, when in some western countries there appeared shops which sold small books called “Valentine’s books”, which contained love poems, from which the one who wanted to send a greeting to his sweetheart could choose. They also contained suggestions for writing love letters.

The Islamic View

valentine's day_heart

Islam is the religion of altruism, true love, and cooperation on that which is good and righteous.

Elaborating the Islamic stance on celebrating Valentine’s Day, Dr. Su`ad Ibrahim Salih, professor of Islamic Jurisprudence (Fiqh) at Al-Azhar University, says:

Indeed, Islam is the religion of altruism, true love, and cooperation on that which is good and righteous. We implore Allah Almighty to gather us together under the umbrella of His All-encompassing Mercy, and to unite us together as one man. Allah Almighty says:

The believers are naught else than brothers. Therefore make peace between your brethren and observe your duty to Allah that haply ye may obtain mercy (Al-Hujurat 49:10)

I can say that there are forms of expressing love that are religiously acceptable, while there are others that are not religiously acceptable. Among the forms of acceptable love are those that include the love for Prophets and Messengers. It stands to reason that the love for Allah, and His Messenger Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) should have the top priority over all other forms of love.

Islam does also recognize happy occasions that bring people closer to one another, and add spice to their lives. However, Islam goes against blindly imitating the West regarding a special occasion such as Valentine’s Day.

Hence, commemorating that special day known as the Valentine’s Day is an innovation or bid`ah that has no religious backing. Every innovation of that kind is rejected, as far as Islam is concerned. Islam requires all Muslims to love one another all over the whole year, and reducing the whole year to a single day is totally rejected.

We Muslims ought not to follow in the footsteps of such innovations and superstitions that are common in what is known as the Valentine’s Day. No doubt that there are many irreligious practices that occur on that day, and those practices are capable of dissuading people from the true meanings of love and altruism to the extent that the celebration is reduced to a moral decline.

_______________________

Source: Aboutislam.net.

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Categories
Muslim Lifestyle New Muslims

The Valentine’s Day Traps of New Muslims

By Shannon Abulnasr

Valentine’s Day…ahhhh, the day of “love”!

I’m not going to jump into the evolution of Valentine’s day to what it is today, nor the innovation it is to practice in Islam.

Many become depressed because they still don’t know how to find a spouse, or to find one they are compatible with.

Instead of a history lesson, or barking rules, I would rather give warnings to Muslims and new Muslims about the traps we can fall into, and how we should feel about the intended methods of expressing love in Islam.

New Muslims usually learn very quickly that in Islam love has a different approach than it did before accepting Islam. Since in Islam, we do not “date” and intermingle with the opposite sex, it can cause a new Muslim to feel lost in their “journey of love”.

While learning about the tricks of Shaytan (Satan), which are well hidden behind the mask of red roses, and boxes of chocolate, we can be more on guard and prevent ourselves from falling into such traps.

The “Single” New Muslim Traps

Single new Muslims, still having the lingering emotional attachment that comes with Valentine’s Day, can really play a number on them. Many become depressed because they still don’t know how to find a spouse, or to find one they are compatible with, leaving them to feel they will forever be alone. This is most prevalent amongst the new Muslim brothers, more so than the sisters.

I’ve had numerous new Muslim brothers telling me that they are fed up with their search for a spouse, and have considered looking for a non-Muslim spouse instead. This shows me that there is a big problem for new Muslim brothers when it comes to finding a mate.

Although they are permitted to marry from the People of the Book (Jews & Christians), the approach is what makes it difficult because they don’t want to approach marriage in the same regards a Muslim is required to do so. As a result, the brothers tend to resort back to their “pre-Islam” way of interacting with the opposite sex when they feel they can’t find a Muslim to marry– but not always of course.

Non-Muslims in the West will not agree to be in a relationship without touching and kissing, and even without intercourse. Many do not respect the sanctity of marriage and chastity in these days and times. It is difficult to find a non-Muslim in the West that would accept such a “cold” seeming relationship. This is a jihad for the new Muslim brothers.

So, what should they do to overcome these feelings during the time period leading up to and including Valentine’s Day that has engulfed the non-Muslim mindset?

How can they attempt a halal relationship that would lead to marriage with a non-Muslim, especially when there are obstacles like Valentine’s Day in their midst?

There is no cookie cutter answer that will suite everyone. I would suggest that they avoid trying to find a partner that would cause them distress in their religion in this regards. There are pious non-Muslims out there, but they are just really difficult to find these days.

It will be tough to get over such obstacles the first few years of being a Muslim, especially in regards to these sorts of holidays and feeling lonely, but it will fade over time, I promise. Just remember to pray to Allah regularly to help you find ease in overcoming the emotional attachment to such holidays. Sometimes being single is a blessing in disguise. Don’t lose hope!

The “In a Relationship” New Muslim Traps

Some new Muslims may actually still be in a relationship with a non-Muslim, or even a Muslim that they were dating from before they accepted Islam. It is complicated, especially when holidays that revolve around “love and intimacy” come around. It all boils down to avoiding haram situations.

We can’t even think about Valentine’s Day, when the bigger issue we face is that we are in a haram relationship to begin with. New Muslims in this situation are stuck in a state of limbo. They “love” their boyfriend/girlfriend, and don’t want to break up simply because they accepted a new religion. Some feel they should stay in it for the sake of da`wah too. So, what should they do?

No one will ever like to hear the typical advice for this situation, which I agree with, which is to end such relationships. More harm can come from staying in these relationships than leaving them. We need to worry more about pleasing Allah instead of people. If they truly care about your relationship with God, they will understand and accept, and if they don’t, then that is a clear indicator that they are not a good match for you in regards to protecting your religion.

You have to just put your trust in Allah, and pray for it to be easy on you.

It really isn’t worth all the sins that you would accumulate to stay in such relationships. It may in fact cause that person to have respect for you in the end, because they will see your dedication to being a good Muslim, and may cause them to be interested in learning more about Islam since they saw you do something so big for the sake of Allah!

Let’s be realistic, and face it… How many sins are you accumulating by staying in this relationship? If we review just the basics, you will have sins for:

  1. touching, kissing, etc.
  2. being alone without mahrams (husband or close male relative forbidden in marriage)
  3. inappropriate speech between one another
  4. lusting after the other
  5. exposing `awrah (parts of the body that must be covered)
  6. intercourse outside of marriage (be realistic, it is more likely than not… going to happen)
  7. lying to others to hide it
  8. repeating all the previous seven things daily.

Is it really worth all that?

Satan is very active in relationships outside marriage, so remember what Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) told us about how that when a man and a woman are together alone, the Satan is the third wheel.

For those born and raised in Islam, that are involved in such relationships, you are spreading the wrong impression about Islam and how the status of women is raised in Islam.  How can you honestly feel good about having a haram relationship with a woman outside of marriage?

Even if, and when they convert to Islam and learn all this, you can probably expect them to not have respect for you knowing that you were willing to do such a thing! More likely than not, once they learn this about Islam, they will leave you, so it would be all for nothing! Be responsible and give non-Muslims and new Muslims the correct image of Islam about love and marriage from the beginning, because you are not ‘helping’ anyone by doing this.

All of these things are considered cooperating in sin and transgression and disobedience to Allah, who tells us:

Help you one another in Al-Birr and Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in sin and transgression. And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is severe in punishment. (Al-Ma’idah 5:2)

The “Engaged” New Muslim Traps

Alhamdulilah, you have found a mate! However, you are not married yet, and can still fall into the traps of Satan, especially during the time surrounding Valentine’s Day. You have to fight the urges to do the “romantic” things that non-Muslims do on this day. Do not make a special day out of it.

If you find yourself wanting to do these things with your mate, then you need to re-analyze your boundaries in the relationship. It means that you are starting to lean into the haram areas of relationships outside marriage. It calls for hearts to be preoccupied with foolish things that contradict the way of the righteous believers.

The engagement time should still have boundaries in place, and you shouldn’t be “infatuated” with the other. You should simply be just getting to know one another, and not “dating” while engaged.

Does this mean that you can’t have feelings for the other? Absolutely not.

It just means that you have to avoid falling into lust, and infatuation. If you are staying within the guidelines of Islam, you will not get overly attached to the point you would fall into a deep depression if it fell through. You can “care” about someone without being “in love” with them.

Romantic love comes in time. Love will blossom once you are married, so don’t preoccupy yourselves with Valentine’s Day in trying to gain their affection, because it may cause you to lose respect in the end.

Always keep in mind that pre-marital relationship is not always a guarantee for a successful marriage. Usually a couple finds love and happiness and their world revolves around each other, and once they marry, they start to see the “real world, and real life problems” that married couples will encounter and feel when they are sloping downward, and ultimately contemplate if they ever were a good match to begin with. That’s worth thinking about, so while you can care about a person, don’t invest too much of your emotions into it before marriage.

Also, for the sake of Allah, do not plan your wedding day to be on Valentine’s Day! Don’t begin your marriage upon innovation. Marriage takes lots of effort, and you need Allah’s blessings in it.

The “Married” New Muslim Traps

“And of His Signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Qur’an 30:21)

This verse does not end with “… on Valentine’s day.” This expresses my point to be made for those that are married already. It is important for a Muslim to express their love and appreciation for their spouse every day, instead of focusing their efforts to make them feel special only on one measly day of the year.

Make it a daily habit to show your love and affection, instead of trying to prove it in a once-yearly tradition. Your spouse would rather have it regularly than just “every now and then” anyway.

When you love someone, make sure that you are loving them for the sake of Allah, and that your love for them does not overpower the love you have for Allah. If you feel that you would die without them, or would lose your mind if they were to leave you, then you need to take a step back and purify your heart and mind, because it is pushing the limits Allah sets.

If you are not careful you can fall into the trap of idolizing your partner. This sneaks up on people and they don’t even realize they are doing it. God tests us with things we love, and people we love, so don’t let them become a false idol of the heart.

Source: muslimsincalgary website

 

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